bacon

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What's the difference between a pheromone and a hormone? Hormones are secreted internally and trigger various biochemical pathways that cause certain effects. We all are familiar with the effects of testosterone and estrogen, both on the anatomy, and behaviour of humans. Pheromones are secreted externally, and have an effect on another creature in similar ways. Usually they have to do with attracting sexual partners or changing a sex partners behaviour or body in some way.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Human: "Panda get off that slide! Your a panda, you don't understand gravity!" Panda: g=9.81 m/s squared. Human: Oh, I see, carry on.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What does Pontiac stand for? Nothing. Pontiac's were discontinued

thumb_up thumb_down +5

How do you make a puppy stop barking? Throw a brick at it.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why did the train crash? Because the conductor was a cucumber.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

you know whats funny... nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

how many Pikachu's can you get in a mini? 14.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Doctor: Knock knock... Patient: Who's there? Doctor: Interrupting doctor... Patient: Interrupting doct-- Doctor: You have cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What do you call a homosexual in the army? A brave and honorable person who should be applauded for their service to this great nation

thumb_up thumb_down +3

"It smells like up dog in here." "What's up dog?" "Not much, what's up with you?"

thumb_up thumb_down +3

President Donald Trump

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Knock, Knock! Cum inside ;;)

thumb_up thumb_down +3

My kids are mistakes.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

How do you know your cat is gay? Other cats have buttsex with him

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Your mom's so fat that she went in to get liposuction and subsequently died from infection.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

pinky ponky went a bit wonky oh no plz dont go or i will rape you untill you know

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What is white on the inside and red on the outside? An apple.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

one day 2 strawberrys walked to the ice cream store and ordered a small cup of banana ice cream they were realley happy they were later taken in and tortured and raped

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Two fish were in a tank one said...."ill drive!"

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They were baked until the baker them until they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

How are contortionists so flexible? They stretch.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

She is so fast We call her Email Instead of Emily...

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What's big, black and hard to swallow? A bowling ball.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops