I like my women like I like my coffee. Without a penis.

A: Knock Knock. B:Who's there? A: The IRS and Child Protective Services

Yo mamma's so fat, she should try NutriSystem.

What did the Neo-Nazi say to the Jew? Hello.

An elephant and a llama walk into a bar. Realizing that they must have broken out of the local zoo, all of the people run out of the bar screaming.

What do the Chinese call ping pong? Ping pong.

whats long black, eight inches and sometimes has white on the tips of them? a black mans foot the wears an eight inch shoe.

I believe that as long as we do not change, as we decide to believe in ourselves and use our strength and potential, all that is left, is to see which side fate favors. Maybe we are meant to survive trough our strength and belief in ourselves and each other, or maybe we are, or will eventually end up as the last people of our kind, and fade away from life, proving that those that trust in the corrupt, where better than us. Suddenly I feel so alone.

How many hamburgers can a grizzly bear eat? Maybe 6.

A homeless man comes home from work.

Where was Sally when the bomb exploded? Everywhere.

whats black and looks like a bucket a black bucket

Q: Whats the difference between a guitar and a piece of ham? A: You can eat a piece of ham.

April showers bring may flowers, may flowers bring pilgrims, pilgrims bring diseases, diseases bring death, death brings... Well it's just death.

How do you get rid of a stalker? You throw a fridge at them!

Why doesn't Helen Keller drive a car? Because she's dead

A young girl falls off a swing, she is paralysed from the neck down and unable to walk every agian.

Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? No. Neither has he.

How many Polish people does it take to screw in a light bulb? My dad is dead.

Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know your mother is a skank.

Three Blondes were walking when they come upon some tracks. The first blonde says they're deer tracks. The second blonde says they're elk tracks. The last blonde says they're moose tracks. While they are all arguing about what type of tracks they are, they get hit by a train.

what do you tell a woman with two black eyes? nothing you already told her twice

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side. Why did the farmer cross the road? To pick up the dead chicken

Q: Whats worse than the death of flappy bird? A: The holocaust.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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