Q. Why can’t a teacher lift weights? A. Because, most teachers are women and most women do not enjoy It.

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Why do priest touch children? They are sexually deprived and frustrated because their religion forbids them from having a normal sexual relationship with the opposite sex.

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A man walks out of a bar followed by the people he came with because they just announced "last call". The man is the designated driver for the night.

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Why are so many children obese? Because they eat to much and they are not physically active enough

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An englishman, irish-man and a scotsman walk into a bar. Englishman orderds a pint of becks, Irishman a guiness and the Scot a whiskey. Everything is absolutely fine and nothing of even remote interest happens.

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What do the Chinese call ping pong? Ping pong.

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Whats funny about a car crash? If a bowl of soup is talking.

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I believe that as long as we do not change, as we decide to believe in ourselves and use our strength and potential, all that is left, is to see which side fate favors. Maybe we are meant to survive trough our strength and belief in ourselves and each other, or maybe we are, or will eventually end up as the last people of our kind, and fade away from life, proving that those that trust in the corrupt, where better than us. Suddenly I feel so alone.

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69

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What do you get when you cross and unicorn with a loaf of bread? Cantaloupe

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Why did the girl die? She read Twililght

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Bryce Harlan and I are close friends Love, Pete K

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1,984

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Why did the cow jump over the moon? He cant jump over the moon due to low gravity

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A sheep walks into a baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

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Have you seen Stevie Wonders house? No, he hasn't either

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"Ask me if I am a Lemon?" "Are you a Lemon?" "Yes, ask me if I'm an Orange" "No, I'm a Lemon."

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Q) You know how I know your gay A) Cuz your gay

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Kill me? Lol, come get me sis, I can kill you wit my mullet, nobody wants to take my phone, but your sister already replied to my "anna fuck" with "arent you married buddy? :)" yeah a smiley, ill show you! The doors are open, if I fail to take you out, I am not deserving of living futher, course yea mother blusx to everywown, I mean she is horny all the tiem! Anywaz, hurry up, im out of stims so im fallin sleeps, told ur sis to send me a nude pic, rite now... so this mite take 3 minuts. Hey, watch the next pic im gonna send you, that should motivate you to fight me sersly, i men sure im slo, but imma sp ful ov valeium dat i feel nor feear no pain... never feeer pain so whateves... Nah your sis is skinny, thats not here, the pixture is fakye, for now... u dyou know dat she keeps snending them hearte and smile and even a smilei with a rose, thats FLIRIIIIIING! Flirting, anyway you get the picture, but I wont respon anymor becuz i am shuttin down this pc and gonna dream abot the things to0 you sis. ;)

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How do you confuse a blonde? You ask her a question.

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Why did the people thumbs-up the anti-joke? Because I threatened them with A GUN

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I've got a fever and the only cure is ibuprofen.

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Why did Jake not get on the bus? Answer: Because Jake is a dog. Dogs are not allowed on the bus.

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A: Knock Knock. B:Who's there? A: The IRS and Child Protective Services

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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