So once upon a midnight dreery.... In a galaxy far far away that takes place in the past but resembles a technologically advanced future, an evil sith overlord took an innocent Jedi knight and turned him in a cybernetic killing machine. In the end, he dies

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You're a wizard Harry! I am?

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Three men are on a plane. (Note, that this is a low-altitude plane, in which they are allowed to open the windows) The stewardess offers the first man refreshments. He asks for an orange. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his orange, he throws it out the window. The stewardess moves on to the second man, who asks for an apple. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Also confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his apple, he throws it out the window. Finally, the stewardess moves onto the third man, who asks for a bomb. Without question, the stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. With no reaction, the man receives the bomb, then throws it out the window. Upon landing, the first man sees a woman crying. With a sympathetic heart, he asks what's the matter. She replies, "I was walking down the street, and an orange came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man brushes the event off as a coincidence. The second man sees another woman crying. Upon asking her what's the matter, she replies, "I was walking down the street, and an apple came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man, confused, apologizes and walks away. The third man sees a woman hysterically laughing. Intrigued, he inquires her jolly. She manages to state through her hysteria, "When me fart, me whole house blow up!"

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A man walks into a bar and asks "Where is your bathroom?" He is directed towards the restroom, where he then covers himself in toilet paper and calls himself a moose.

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What is the oppisite of water? Dry!

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385

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Did you hear about the circus fire? It was intense

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Q: What's funny about prostitution? A: Nothing. It's a widely misunderstood profession.

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What happened when the asian girl got an 89 on her Test? Her parents kicked her out of their house.

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ARE YOU READY FOR THE OLDEST ANTIJOKE EVER WRITTEN: HERE IT COMES....... THE MOST ANCIENT OF THEM ALL...... ARE YOU READY?????? HERE WE GO...... Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side! THAT'S RIGHT. THIS IS IN FACT AN ANTI JOKE - "...ends with such an anti climax...the lack of punchline is the punchline."

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How do you kill a 1000 Ethiopians? Throw a biscuit off a cliff. JimBoto

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What did the squirrel say to the dog? "I have AIDS."

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my president is black, my lambo's blue, $14,400,000,000,000 national debt

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what do you tell a woman with two black eyes? nothing you already told her twice

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Why are so many children obese? Because they eat to much and they are not physically active enough

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread

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Why did Suzy's neck hurt? Because it was broken

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Why couldn't Carys answer the phone? - She had an ear infection.

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A man walks into a bar, it looked like it hurt.

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Why did child's mom cry when he was born? The child had no head.

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Q: Whats the difference between a guitar and a piece of ham? A: You can eat a piece of ham.

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Guess what i realized when i became 18? I was 18

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what do you get when you combine fire and water? alcohol

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A black man walked into a bar. Had a drink, and left.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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