What do you call a black man running down the street? A promising athlete in training.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the dog, which also fell out of the tree.

Person 1: You have something on your head Person 2: What? Where? What is it? Person 1: Hair

Why can't Sally ride her bike? Because Sally is eight months old and doesn't even understand what a bike is.

If file gives you melons, you might be dyslexic

whats long black, eight inches and sometimes has white on the tips of them? a black mans foot the wears an eight inch shoe.

Three ladies were seen eating ice cream. One of them was licking the ice cream. Another was sucking the ice cream and the other was biting the ice cream. One of these ladies is currently married. Which one among them is the married lady? The one with a wedding ring on.

Your mama's so old that typical places of business grant her the senior citizen discount.

What's the difference between an elephant and I?Our mass.

How do you kill a 1000 Ethiopians? Throw a biscuit off a cliff. JimBoto

What's red and round? A red and round solid.

"I have been threw the desert with a horse with no no name" wrong the horse, name was no name

How do you spell dog? C-A-T!

Why did the people thumbs-up the anti-joke? Because I threatened them with A GUN

Why did the one-legged chicken say déjà vu? It felt a strong sensation that the current event had been experienced in the past.

Susie sells seashells by the seashore. Susie was a schizophrenic bitch who caused irreversible harm to her family and those close to her. She also had underage sex with a black guy named John. He was actually a pretty decent guy, but he decided to smoke weed a couple times when his dad was going through some tough times. His dad resented him for this fact and it caused unresolved tension between them for years. This caused John to go out and seek younger girls to have sex with, to fill the emptiness he and his dad's relationship left him with. Meanwhile, Susie was falling in love with John, not knowing his many dark secrets he had tried best to keep hidden from her. Eventually, all of these things come out in the open, and Susie still respects him and ultimately loves him even more for being so honest.

A black man walked into a bar. Had a drink, and left.

What's funnier than killing a bunch of orphans? Pretty much anything is funnier than that. What's wrong with you?

Why does Shaun's dad beat him? Because Shaun is an asshole.

Why did the bird fall out of the tree?" "Because it was dead?" "No. Becaus it was stapled to the squirrel.

What's the difference between a pizza and a jew? A pizza doesn't scream when you put it in the oven

How many dead lions can feed a bluejay? Bluejays don't eat dead or living lions, so this is highly improbable.

What did one Teacher say to the other teacher? Nothing. The first teacher has a horrible drinking habbit which is getting out of hand, He beats his wife and children each night after his drinks at the bar. His parents have stopped all contact and he found some divorce papers in his wifes draw, also saying she would be getting full costudy of the children. He has lost the majority of his friends and didnt want to loose another one, and kept his problems to himself.

The man who killed hitler must have ben a swell dude a.w. j.p.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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