How do you avoid being hit with a toaster? You don't walk past the man hitting you with a toaster.

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What do you do when your dishwasher isn't working? Beat it senseless, and then tell your wife you need a new one.

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what sucks? things that suck

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You might be a redneck if you spent all day in the sun without sunscreen.

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69

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a man walks into a bar. Bartender asks him "Hey buddy, why the long face?" The man says "Because I'm a raging alcoholic and my wife has left me."

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How'd the little kid get down the stairs when nobody was home? He fell down thhem.

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What did the robot say to the centipede? Stop being a centipede.

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What makes Stephen Hawking such a lame scientist??? A: he has a disabling disease. It's called ALS.

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A man walks out of a bar followed by the people he came with because they just announced "last call". The man is the designated driver for the night.

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A man walks in to a wooden door. He's blind.

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When life gives you Corn Nuts, snack on them while watching your favorite TV show. Then go to sleep early and have a nice, peaceful rest, dreaming about the fun things you'll do tomorrow.

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Roses are red, violets are blue Most poems rhyme, but this one doesn't

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When you wish upon a star... ... you're actually a few million years late, according to astronomy. The star is dead. Just like your dreams.

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Why couldn't Carys answer the phone? - She had an ear infection.

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Why couldn't the man find his watch? Because he was mugged by a homeless man and had severe brain damage..... ....and because he left it at the office

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Q: what did the tractor say when helost his farmer? A: wheres my farmer?

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what do you call a cow? A cow

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whats worse than 9/11 a paper cut

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What is a vampires favorite desert? Vampires aren't real.

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what is brown and shaped like a tree?

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why was the little girl afraid of the dark because she was brutally raped in the dark when she was 4.

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From a picture, it is difficult to tell the difference between an apatosaurus and a diplodocus.

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Why did the people thumbs-up the anti-joke? Because I threatened them with A GUN

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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