Whats 1+1? Well,According to John Willemain's Business Analysis: Problem Solving Using Calculus and Finite Mathematics it's 2.

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Roses are red, However, they can also be other colours, such as white, pink or yellow.

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Three men sit at a bar. A clown walks in, so the first man says, "Oh, what fresh hell is this?", gets up and leaves. Then a fairy flies in, so the second man says, "Aw, hell no!", gets up and leaves. So the third man was alone with the fairy and clown.

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4 is half the number 8 is.

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Why did the boat sink? It ran into an iceberg.

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"I had the worst day ever!" "Was it worse than 9/11?"

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What do Micheal Jackson and Niel Armstrong have in common? Armstrong did the earthwalk on the moon and Jackson F#$%ed little boys in the butt.

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Roses are red violets are blue i heart my toilet Becuase it holds all my POO!!!!!!!!

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What did the Buddhist say to the hot dog vendor? I don't eat hot dogs. Thank you though.

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knock knock GO AWAY I'M IN THE SHOWER

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Miley Cyrus.

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No Mom! No! I DON'T WANT TO HAVE SEX WITH YOU!

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Why I the kid still at school? His mom was brutally run over by a car

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why did the girl cross the road ? to get run over by a flee of running cows

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Why did the one-legged chicken say déjà vu? It felt a strong sensation that the current event had been experienced in the past.

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How do you call a black man? By his first name.

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Q. What is green and has wheels? A. Grass, I was joking about the wheels.

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A man walks into a bar and has a wonderful time drinking with his friends, arrives home at a reasonable time and goes to bed.

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who has brown eyes blonde hair and red lips a human-being

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Jews...

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A man walking on a beach looks into the surf and sees a beautiful oil lamp floating to shore. Wondering who in the heck uses oil lamps anymore, he picks it up, sees a bit of crust on the side, and rubs it clean. Just then a burst of smoke comes out of the lamp, and a genie floats out and stands before the man. "Oh master, thank you for releasing me from the lamp. In thanks, I grant to you one wish. Anything you ask for, it will be true," said the genie. "One wish? What happened to three," asked the man. "Dude, don't push it. We're in a recession. So what's your wish?" "OK. OK. I ... I... I WISH I WAS RICH!" screamed the man. The genie folded his arms, blinked twice, scratched his nose, nodded his head, and spun in a circle twice. "And it is SO!" he cried out. The man looked at himself, looked at the genie, but nothing seemed to have changed. "WTF, genie. Am I rich?" The genie replied, "Well no. You said, 'I wish I was rich.' I made you rich... ten years ago. You were rich. Now you're not. You used the indicative mood 'was.' If you wanted it to become true now in the present, you should have used the subjunctive mood 'were.'"

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What did santa say to the little girl on Christmas Eve? Santa isn't real, but pedophiles are.

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If a rooster lays a brown egg on the south side of an Asian man's roof, which way would I turn at the intersection? Folderol, because laundry has no soul.

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Shoes, socks, and mittens.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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