What do a duck and a bike have in common? They both have handle bars except for the duck

How many licks does it take for a pedophile to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop? Given a simple random sample of pedophiles, they will most likely have the same statistical standard normal distribution of tongue sizes and saliva efficacy as any other part of the population. Therefore, that question in regards to the tongues of pedophiles is irrelevant and remains unanswered.

Roses are red Violets are blue I have five finger and the middle is for you

Why did the little girl get a new tricycle? To cope with her father's death

Why did the girl fall off the fridge? She tripped on a rock.

banana

What's green and falls fom a tree? A dump truck. I lied about it being green.

What is the definition of nothing? The opposite of something.

Why did Sally fall off the swing? -- Because she had no arms Why did sally drop her ice cream? -- Because she got ran over by the ice cream truck

A man walks in to a wooden door. He's blind.

Roses are red violets are blue i heart my toilet Becuase it holds all my POO!!!!!!!!

Why couldn't Jimmy drive the tractor? Because he has no arms or legs. Why doesn't he have any arms or legs? Because he is a potato.

a short man asked a tall man "hey hows the weather up there"? the tall man couldnt answer cause he was sucked up by a tornado that missed the short man

Why didn't the skeleton cross the road? Because he was too much of a bitch to when his friends dared him.

When you wish upon a star... ... you're actually a few million years late, according to astronomy. The star is dead. Just like your dreams.

whats worse than getting a papercut on the tip of your finger? getting crushed by a refrigerator

Why couldn't the man find his watch? Because he was mugged by a homeless man and had severe brain damage..... ....and because he left it at the office

Roses are red, However, they can also be other colours, such as white, pink or yellow.

Did you see Stevie Wonder's new house? No? Don't worry, he didn't either

What did Osama Bin Laden say to Hitler? Nothing. Hitler died many years ago now and he was in no position of power during Bin Laden's reign of terror due to the fact that he was already dead. Therefore it is impossible that they could have had any sort of conversation. But now Bin Laden is dead as well. HIGH FIVE!!!!!!!

a man walks into a bar. Bartender asks him "Hey buddy, why the long face?" The man says "Because I'm a raging alcoholic and my wife has left me."

a man walks out of his home and into a bar PLOT TWIST! he is a chicken

The Arrowtongue commands the road like a semi-truck. But the Gyrosprinter corners on a dime.

roses are red Jacob's a Jew the holocaust was funny Haha f**k you

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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