did it hurt when you fell from heaven? cause it looked like you landed on your face

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Did you hear about the man who fell out of an aeroplane at 2000 feet? He was taking part in a charity skydive to raise money for his dying brother, a chronic sufferer of cystic fibrosis.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? She didn't pass her driving test.

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Why did the car get out of bed? Because the person who owned the car was a total freak and put the car into a bed.

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a man is stranded on a deserted island with no food, water or clothing and he comes upon a magical genie lamp, a genie pops out and tells him that he has three wishes, the man asks for food,water, and clothing, the genie says "of course" the man was elated but then the genie says " but i'm afraid to tell you that genies don't exist and your hallucinating from your harsh living conditions...i'm sorry" the man lived two more weeks before dying slowly...

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Roses are red, violets are blue Most poems rhyme, but this one doesn't

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Your mama is so fat that when she walks her legs rub against each other

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When Chuck Norris runs, he doesn't even move a muscle.

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whats funnier than a penguin playing a banjo? i don't know because I've never seen one and probably never will because it is a highly improbable event.

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Q: what did the tractor say when helost his farmer? A: wheres my farmer?

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A hundred dollar bill falls in the middle of an intersection. Equally distanced from the bill stand a Jew, a Black, a White Supremacist and an Arab. Wouldn't it suck to be on this street? I am sure violence will ensue.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? I lost my tractor!

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Why didn't Valerie go on over to Amy's house? Because she's dead.

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My dad went into Home Depot, he went in to get garage door part, he took an hour and came back out with three things.

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PATHETIC

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What did the picture say to the man? Don't frame me

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What's red and invisible? No Tomatoes

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because Se7en was a scary movie!

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How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb? Trick question; feminists can't change anything.

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A man sees Bill Murray at a restaurant in Los Angeles and tells his friends about the incident. They believe the story, because it is entirely plausible that it actually happened.

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Why was the construction worker crying? Because do to the failing economy, he was recently let go from his job, and he is mortified by the idea of being unable to find work and ending up homeless and unable to fend for his family.

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Person 1: You have something on your head Person 2: What? Where? What is it? Person 1: Hair

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When life gives you Corn Nuts, snack on them while watching your favorite TV show. Then go to sleep early and have a nice, peaceful rest, dreaming about the fun things you'll do tomorrow.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was very mad at his mother, so he ran away, and, on the other side of the road, he saw a ver luxurious chicken coop. In other words, duh.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops