How many ants does it take to fill an apartment? It depends on the size of the apartment.

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PATHETIC

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A woman comes to the doctor with a dog and the doctor says: -What are you doing here, dog? Get the hell out of here, you're an animal.

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What do u call a black polar bear? A black bear

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Two ducks are sitting on washcloths in the middle of a lake. One duck looks to the other and asks, "hey, do you have any soap?" to which the other duck responds, "what do you think I am, a typewriter?"

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If a man without hands is called a handicap, what do you call a man without legs? A handicap.

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What kind of "room" can you not enter? One with a locked door.

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What goes about 36 miles per hour and screams? A baby attached to a ceiling fan.

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On a plane directed to Buffalo there are: an italian, a french and a greek. They all go there for tourism

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Knock Knock. Who's there? James. James who? James from work. Oh, come on in.

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Why was the lady fat. She ate a lot of food.

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A man is on an operating table. His heart stops beating and he suddenly finds himself at the Gates of Heaven. St. Peter approaches him. "Welcome, my son," St. Peter says. "I can't believe it," the man exclaims, "I've died and gone to Heaven! I-" St. Peter interrupts him. "Not quite yet, my son. You must first answer three questions. You will only enter Heaven if I deem you fit to do so." The man nervously agrees. "All right. First question," St. Peter says. "Did you ever commit a sin and never sought forgiveness?" The man thinks long and hard. "No, I always made sure to apologize." "Splendid," St. Peter responds. "Did you attend church every Sunday?" The man loses some of his former confidence. "I may have missed the odd week." "That's fine," says St. Peter. "One last question... Do you believe you are worthy of entering the Gates of Heaven?" The man answers nervously, "Well... yes, yes I do." St. Peter smiles. "Congratulations, my son. You have passed the test, and may enter Heaven!" The man is ecstatic as the pearly gates open up for him. He enters Heaven and is astounded by its magnificent beauty. The man then loses all brain function and dies on the operating table.

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A man walks into a bar. He had to leave promptly because he, according to the law, was too young to be served alcohol.

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Q: what did the tractor say when helost his farmer? A: wheres my farmer?

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what sucks? things that suck

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Whats 1+1? Well,According to John Willemain's Business Analysis: Problem Solving Using Calculus and Finite Mathematics it's 2.

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How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? Approximately 75 pounds of wood a day

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Did you see stevie wonders new house? No. Well he hasnt either

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Why didn't Valerie go on over to Amy's house? Because she's dead.

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Why did the alien cross the road. To get to his ship.

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black people. that is all...

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Anyone reading this I'm not writing anything Kevin

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How many dead babies can you fit in a trunk? 37.

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What do you call a white guy with a taller black woman? A man in a deeply committed relationship.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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