Quizno's footlongs are four dollars...

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Husband: Shut up, there is now playing for Real Madrid Woman: So what? come help me clean. Husband:after the game,now shut up. Woman:Everyone knows Barcelona better... Police: So you're saying your wife fell on the knife alone?

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Whats the difference between a baby and a watermelon? Ones fun to hit with a sledgehammer. The other one is a watermelon.

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A man with a badly injured arm is sitting in a hospital. He says, "Doctor, when my arm heals, will I be able to play the violin?" The doctor says, "With proper medical attention and rest, yes, you will be able to." The man says, "That's great! Before I was hurt, I really enjoyed playing the violin."

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Why did the feminist cross the road? To suck a penis

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porcupines love sun bathing in the winter months so it dosent rape their nose hairs

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What do you call a man covered in magnets? Attractive

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Tyler: Hey, James if you were a cavemen you would die. James: Why? Tyler: Because everybody hates you.

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why do bananas wear sunscreen? becuase they peel!

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Q: Whats worse than 17 babies in 1 bin. A: 1 baby in 17 bins. Q: Whats worse than that. A: 17 bins in 1 baby.

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Anyone reading this I'm not writing anything Kevin

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How many dead babies can you fit in a trunk? 37.

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What did a tampon say to the other tampon? Nothing, they were both stuck up bitches.

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On a plane directed to Buffalo there are: an italian, a french and a greek. They all go there for tourism

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Did you hear about the circus fire? It was intense

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Who eats chicken noodle soup? Anybody who enjoys chicken noodle soup.

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What's worse than seeing your grandma naked. nothing.

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Why does your mom not love you.... Because she is not your real mom.

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What happened when the dinosaur walked out into the rain? He got wet.

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Are you a tree? No.

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What did Jerry Sandusky do when he was alone with 3 little boys? Taught them how to play football.

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Why did Nigel decide to lie and remain on the ground? He didn't. Somebody beat him ruthlessly and stole his wheelchair. Nigel has no legs by the way.

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Why is six afraid of seven? Cuz the chicken crossed the road

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says "Why the long face?". The horse doesn't respond because it neither speaks nor understands English. It is confused by its surroundings and gallops out of the bar, knocking over a few tables on the way.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops