Q: How do you get a clown to stop smiling? A: Hit it with an axe

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If you wanna hear a joke scroll down this page more

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There was a mexican man and a chinese man, They walked into a bomb shop and bought three bombs, then left.

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Knock knock Who's there doorbell Doorbell who Doorbells can't knock

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My dad went into Home Depot, he went in to get garage door part, he took an hour and came back out with three things.

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wats worse than gettin bitched at by ur mom? gettin raped by a giant scorpian n getting SUPER ULTRA MEGA AIDS

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What does Megatron say when a video game takes forever to load? "You have failed me yet again, Start Screen!"

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The Olympics

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A guy walks up to a girl and says: " hey can I have your number so can I have your text you later?" she says " no" he says " why ?" she says" guess" He says " look if you don't like me thats okay, " he gets up and walks away, turns out she doesn't have a cell phone, she was gonna give him her house number to call.

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My Friday was going great until i realized it's Thursday...

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A man walks into a barn the n was not visible

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Roses are red My binoculars are blue The curtains are open I see you

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Whats better than a dead baby? A dead baby in a clown suit

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What do you do when you see a mentally challenged kid in a wheelchair? Walk up and offer to push him, as you should since he probably hasn't had a lot of friends in his lifetime.

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Your mama is so fat that when she walks her legs rub against each other

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Why did the man complain of pain in his ankle? Because several consecutive tissue samples of the area revealed a rapidly metastasizing neoplasm. Blood samples indicated the presence of what appeared to be Hodgkins Lymphoma. The man was very wealthy, however, and had world class doctors treat him. He then donated a vast portion of his wealth to research.

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Why can't Michael J. Fox draw a perfect circle? Because no human can.

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How can you tell when a lawyer is lying? In most people who lie eyebrows may raise, eyes may widen and gaze may alter, anal sphincter usually tightens, breathing often quickens marginally, external body temperature alters and sweat (and therefore skin electrical conductivity) increases.

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What's bigger than your penis? The Empire State Building.

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How do you get a one armed blonde out of a tree? Wave to her.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a Scout? The Scout gets to come home from camp.

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What did the deaf, dumb, blind kid get on his birthday? Cancer.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Last night I came home to find my entire family murdered....

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Why did Sally drown? She wasn't wearing a life jacket and it was the the seventh time she had fallen off her water skis today. Her father was not coming back this time.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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