Knock knock. Who's there? Ostrich. Ostrich who? No no I don't have a formal name, I'm just telling you I'm an ostrich.

thumb_up thumb_down +64

How do you keep a blonde busy? The best way to keep somebody busy is to make sure they have something to do, like get a job or a hobby or do some chores. The color of their hair is irrelevant.

thumb_up thumb_down +64

A man walks into a bar. He had to leave promptly because he, according to the law, was too young to be served alcohol.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was a registered sex offender

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What happened to the guy that fell off the building? He hit the ground

thumb_up thumb_down +8

A. Why did John survive the plane crash? B. Because he was master chief and he is awesom although cortana did not which John is sad about naturally.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Husband: Shut up, there is now playing for Real Madrid Woman: So what? come help me clean. Husband:after the game,now shut up. Woman:Everyone knows Barcelona better... Police: So you're saying your wife fell on the knife alone?

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What's brown and sticky? a stick

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why is the kid over-weighted? Because he had to many calories in his diegestive system and he couldn't burn the calories

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Roses are red. Violets are blue. I am colourblind so screw you!

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Uh, "Abel", seriously get over here and then get some sleep, not only did you get the code all wrong, there is no number to be deciphered at all, besides its called a laptop with a battery. Speaking of general dumbass... You have not changed the least, you really remind me of a cruel, sloppy, less disciplined (except the wise cracking thing Nero resorted to to push me away and apparently dodge gun fire, maybe his way of handling nerves. You might look like him, but personality wise you are completely different, cruel, sloppy, graphical, I mean did you ever see Nero get angry? I never did. That said Neo-Nero, you are a nice guy too, especially if you get here fast enough, I mean this place is freezing.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

What happens when you stick your finger in a pencil sharpener? Blood everywhere.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

sexual intercourse.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Roses are red Violets are blue Last night I came home to find my entire family murdered....

thumb_up thumb_down -32

What do you call a man covered in magnets? Attractive

thumb_up thumb_down -38

What does a blonde do in her spare time. Why are you interested, creep!

thumb_up thumb_down -42

What did the psychiatrist say to the man when he walked into his office naked and wrapped in saran wrap? I can see your 'nuts'...

thumb_up thumb_down -48

A man walks into a bar. He's covered in Ash because the north tower just collapsed.

thumb_up thumb_down -78

Anyone reading this I'm not writing anything Kevin

thumb_up thumb_down +167

Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Shes been dead for some time now.

thumb_up thumb_down +103

If life gives you lemons, give them back. They were probably stolen, and even if they weren't, lemons are a pretty shitty gift to give someone.

thumb_up thumb_down +69

Grammar ... the difference between knowing your shit, and knowing you're shit.

thumb_up thumb_down +55

pigs are sometimes pink GOSH

thumb_up thumb_down +53

Why can't humans fly? Because there is simply no natural way of achieving lift with the bodies that we have. We must use other means to become airborne such as planes and hot air balloons.

thumb_up thumb_down +51

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops