Why did the chicken cross the road? To see if he could beat the oncoming car.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Knock knock Who's there? The police Ahh shit

thumb_up thumb_down +9

How'd the little kid get down the stairs when nobody was home? He fell down thhem.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why was 15 afraid of 16? Coz 16 was bigger than him.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What did George W. Bush say to his wife when he got home? I'm home.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Knock knock Who's there? Yolanda I do not know anyone by that name. I am sorry Oh I must be at the wrong house. My apologies. Oh, it's alright. Have a nice day You too. Take care!

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why was the picture ruined? Because you were in it.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

yo mama so dumb that we sat her down to take a standardized, comprehensive IQ test measuring spatial, logical, linguistic, and memorization abilities. Her aggregate score was an 87, indicated she is roughly one standard deviation below the mean of the population, which is not low enough to qualify for government assistance under the Americans with Disabilities Act (1990) but does impede her understanding of more complex abstract concepts and things pertaining to higher culture. In spite of this, she has raised a child of average intelligence, and has retained the same job at Walgreen's for 14 years, People seem to like her because she is polite and rarely late. Your mother is an inspiration to low-IQ people living in high-IQ developed countries, demonstrating that an inability to fully understand abstracts does necessarily lead to a life of meagerness and frustration, so long as you work hard, keep your spirits high, and accept Jesus Christ as your personal lord and savior.

thumb_up thumb_down -51

Robin- Hey, Batman, can i drive tonight? Batman- Eat my left dick Robin- OK, Batman, but can i still ... mmuupfm fmuupmf... I suppose that means no... mmmupf mmfupfmpfmum...

thumb_up thumb_down -57

1: Why did the chicken cross the road? 2: The chicken has a right to privacy, stop questioning what she does

thumb_up thumb_down +46

A: Ask me if I'm a truck. B: Are you a truck? A: No.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was a registered sex offender

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why were there only 5,000 Mexicans at the Battle of Alamo? They only had 1250 trucks.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Two guys walk in a bar, and they die.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

A padawan walks into a bar. He is promptly ridiculed by his master for not minding his surroundings.

thumb_up thumb_down +89

Q: How mature are you on a scale of 1 to 100? A: 69. :)

thumb_up thumb_down +41

69

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Why couldn't the man find his watch? Because he was mugged by a homeless man and had severe brain damage..... ....and because he left it at the office

thumb_up thumb_down +19

How many chickens does it take to screw in a light bulb? Any number of chickens plus one person.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Reporter: So, how do you feel knowing you don't have some place to work when you walk out of your house because of that tornado? Guy: "Well, it feels even worse knowing I don't have a house to walk out of. . ."

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Why did the Mxican eat the taco? Because he was hungry,

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What does Megatron say when a video game takes forever to load? "You have failed me yet again, Start Screen!"

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Funding a half worm in your apple because you just ate half of a worm!

thumb_up thumb_down -33

A little boy asked his mom what fucking was, so she showed him.

thumb_up thumb_down -65

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops