How do you starve a Mexican? Deny him Food Stamps.

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Two ducks are sitting on washcloths in the middle of a lake. One duck looks to the other and asks, "hey, do you have any soap?" to which the other duck responds, "what do you think I am, a typewriter?"

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What has four legs, is green and furry, and if it falls out of a tree it will kill you? A pool table.

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Por que não passa Globo Esporte na Etiópia? Porque a Rede Globo não tem afiliadas por lá.

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What's worse than finding half a worm in your apple? Having a refrigerator fall on you

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What is the oppisite of water? Dry!

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A: Knock knock B: Who’s there? A: The police B: The police who? A: Ma’am, your son is dead.

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My friend told me to break a leg before the show. I disobeyed him and injured no one. It's just a figure of speech.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Hoo. Who Hoo? You're a barn owl!

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Why did Doris have no control over her bladder? Because she was old and suffered catastrophic incontinence

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What's the difference between a joke and an anti-joke? I don't know man, but you touch yourself at night.

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Knock knock Who's there? The police Ahh shit

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If you wanna hear a joke scroll down this page more

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Wanna here a joke? Womens rights

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A blonde tries to kill herself cutting both her wrists.Why didn't it work? Because her boyfriend found her just in time and managed to stop the bleeding and took her to the hospital. After some years of therapy they got married and lived happy together for the rest of their lifes.

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Why is the kid over-weighted? Because he had to many calories in his diegestive system and he couldn't burn the calories

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Guy 1: That's what she said! HAHAHA!!! Guy 2: That's what who said? Guy 1: I don't know. :/

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A man took his son out to play catch. The boy didn't even try to catch the ball. After that the man took his son to the amusement park to have fun. The boy didn't even try to have fun. Then the man took his son to the burger place nearby. Once again the son didn't even touch his food. Finally the man lost his temper and beat his seemingly ungrateful son and cried over the fact that his son was mentally retarded.

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whats worse then 9/11? -George W. Bush

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How do u know someones running? They leave this????behind

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You know you are from New York when you live in Manhattan.

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What happened when an atheist burned down the home of a priest? He was arrested, charged with arson and sentenced to 5 years in prison.

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Why did the elephant cross the river? CAUSE YOLO (even though he died)

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Knock Knock Who's there? It's actually much safer to look through the peep hole than it is to let a stranger know you are home.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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