What did the midget say to the clown that was blocking the doorway? Excuse me

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Why did Billy cry? He had Pubic Lice

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Why did Sally drown? She wasn't wearing a life jacket and it was the the seventh time she had fallen off her water skis today. Her father was not coming back this time.

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One day, I was looking at my brand new wooden table, and I thought, "wow, that is a very nice brand new wooden table." And then my dog peed on it. I killed the dog.

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How's a raven like a writing desk. you really are alice.

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What will you be doing right before you die? ... ... living.

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My friend told me to break a leg before the show. I disobeyed him and injured no one. It's just a figure of speech.

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A: Knock knock B: Who’s there? A: The police B: The police who? A: Ma’am, your son is dead.

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What did Christopher Columbus say to his men before they got on the ship? "Men, get on the ship."

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why was the boy sad? his friend got hit by a bus.

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A n antelope walks into a bar and many people leave for the sake of their safety and animal control gets called to escort the antelope out of the bar.

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There's an American, an African, and a Chinese walking down the street. Because the bar is down there.

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What's black, white, and red all over? A penguin in a blender

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Two astronauts go kayaking in the Sahara Desert. How many pancakes does it take to shingle doghouse? Purple, because ice cream has no bones.

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A man with a badly injured arm is sitting in a hospital. He says, "Doctor, when my arm heals, will I be able to play the violin?" The doctor says, "With proper medical attention and rest, yes, you will be able to." The man says, "That's great! Before I was hurt, I really enjoyed playing the violin."

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What happens when you throw a penny between two Jewish men? Probably nothing, but one of them might pick it up and ask if you have dropped a penny.

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Your momma's so fat that when she uses a hoolahoop, she gets tired after one try and has to stop.

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Here's a joke for u Hahaha suck on it I wasnt going to make u laugh o yea ur mom died

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Uh, "Abel", seriously get over here and then get some sleep, not only did you get the code all wrong, there is no number to be deciphered at all, besides its called a laptop with a battery. Speaking of general dumbass... You have not changed the least, you really remind me of a cruel, sloppy, less disciplined (except the wise cracking thing Nero resorted to to push me away and apparently dodge gun fire, maybe his way of handling nerves. You might look like him, but personality wise you are completely different, cruel, sloppy, graphical, I mean did you ever see Nero get angry? I never did. That said Neo-Nero, you are a nice guy too, especially if you get here fast enough, I mean this place is freezing.

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whats worse then 9/11? -George W. Bush

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How many Jews died in the Holocaust? Not enough.

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what do you call a black guy who flies planes? a pilot

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You know you are from New York when you live in Manhattan.

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What is black and gray? This rectangle and this text.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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