What did the alien discuss with the other alien? Something we discussed.

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Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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Whats 1+1? Well,According to John Willemain's Business Analysis: Problem Solving Using Calculus and Finite Mathematics it's 2.

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A priest walks into a bar, which is suprising because priests don't usually go to bars.

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Q: Why did Megan Fox cross the road? A: Because she was running from a giant Decepticon!!! Why else!!!???

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How do you make a baby cry? Break its legs.

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knock knock who's there? refelection reflection who? reflection in the mirror, it's you -lINDz@Y $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$ s/0 to my B0oFrand J0rdan MiLaRR

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whats green can fly and has legs? a plane i lied about the legs

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How did the black man get a new television? He worked hard and put away a small percentage of his weekly wage in order to save for this new addition to his household.

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Two colleague janitors sit next to each other in the coffee room, one says to the other: About yesterday... I checked three times and it looks pretty normal. Sorry... I wasn't around to hear the question the other posed the day before, but I heard it's supposed to be pretty funny with this answer. So... Less is better then none, right?

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holocaust jokes are bad, anne frankly they annoy me

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wanna hear a joke? katie chandler

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whats worse then 9/11? -George W. Bush

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What do you call a deaf man? It would be unwise to call him anything, as he would have difficulty hearing you.

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What is it called when a black man does cocaine? A felony.

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One day, I was looking at my brand new wooden table, and I thought, "wow, that is a very nice brand new wooden table." And then my dog peed on it. I killed the dog.

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An Englishman, a Frenchman and a German strand on an island. Searching the jungle, they fall into a trap. They get painfully killed and eaten by the cannibals.

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Arsonist: Hey, did you listen to my mixtape? ... It's really good.

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What's worse than seeing your grandma naked. nothing.

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whats purple with fur?nothing mammals cannot have purple fur

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Man: Docter it hurts when i touch my legs! Docter: yeah you have two shattered knee caps youll never walk again.

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Womens rights

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Why doesn't Santa come in the summer? Because it's not Christmas.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Michael Jackson.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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