Q: What did Micheal Jackson Say to the boys? A: He can't speak because he's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

PENIS THAT IS ALL!

thumb_up thumb_down +26

An Irishman walked into a pub and ordered a pint. He had planned to just have one but ended up having two since he'd had a rough day at work. His wife was slightly annoyed that he came home smelling of beer.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Why did the little girl fall off of the swing? She had previously been in a car accident, in which all of her close family died and she was the only survivor. Since both her arms were stuck in between crushed components of the car, they had to be amputated on the spot. She was testing out the prosthetic arms she had been given when they failed, causing her to get a concussion, and putting her in a coma for the rest of her life.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

OneBigAssMistakeAmerica

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

thumb_up thumb_down +4

How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? The answer is not definitive and involves several factors including the size of the woodchuck, the woodchuck's teeth, the climate in which that woodchuck lives, and the tenacity of that particular woodchuck at achieving his goal.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

josh- your a strange boy. liam- yes. due to by up bringing i have been exposed to unusual situations that most people do not encounter therefore affecting how i behave. Secondly the definition of normal is varying from person to person making being normal to every human being difficult to even the most capable of people. Essentialy Josh i care little for you comment. *josh was a black man who died of cancer 6 weeks after this incodent*

thumb_up thumb_down +2

How is nothing something if it is nothing?...

thumb_up thumb_down

What will Postman Pat be called after he retires? Pat.

thumb_up thumb_down

am i invited to party? no

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What did the boy say to his father? I don't know. With the seemingly infinite number of topics that two people could discuss and the fact that both the father and son are fictional, it would be unreasonable and border edge mentally unstable for me to assume that you would know what they may or may not be talking about.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

When Life throws you lemons you might be hallucinating

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why did the wiener dog fight the cock. Because it was a cock-fight.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

whats small and looks funny? A baby with a penis sewed to its face.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What has 4 legs and goes "meow." A cat. Dang! You already heard it.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

So three Mexicans, a black man, and 2 white men enter a room. They promptly sever their penises and jump out the window because they are all members of a strange cult.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Why can't a T-Rex clap? Because they're extinct

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Doctor, Doctor, I think I'm a canary! Yes, you are.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

how long has dibey got left like :)

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Tim tebow is the anti christ

thumb_up thumb_down -40

Why couldn't the boy see? He was dead

thumb_up thumb_down -62

Why did the black man work at a Kentucky Fried Chicken? Because he was fired from his job at a grocery store, and it was the only job he could find on short notice in the current job market.

thumb_up thumb_down -84

Person A: Hey! Whats up? Person B: Suicide rates...

thumb_up thumb_down -96

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops