You're mama's so ugly, she will most-likely never meet a compatible mate and die alone.

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Why did the car stop? There was a fridge in the road

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Man: Docter it hurts when i touch my legs! Docter: yeah you have two shattered knee caps youll never walk again.

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An irishman walks out of a pub

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? The answer is not definitive and involves several factors including the size of the woodchuck, the woodchuck's teeth, the climate in which that woodchuck lives, and the tenacity of that particular woodchuck at achieving his goal.

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How are a bucket and a purple shovel alike? Coincidentally they both are registered sex offenders.

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I hate girls that try to act hard. Like calm down you dont got a dick.

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Q. Where do snowmen keep their money? A. A snowman is an anthropomorphic snow sculpture made of frozen water. They therefore cannot earn, keep or have any use for money.

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Two colleague janitors sit next to each other in the coffee room, one says to the other: About yesterday... I checked three times and it looks pretty normal. Sorry... I wasn't around to hear the question the other posed the day before, but I heard it's supposed to be pretty funny with this answer. So... Less is better then none, right?

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Your momma's so fat that when she uses a hoolahoop, she gets tired after one try and has to stop.

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What happens 2 seconds after you thorw a rock out a two-story window? The rock hits the ground.

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How you learn to juggle? You ask someone for their balls.

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How do you kill a blonde woman? Stab her in the stomach so all the acidic contents of her stomach slowly burn her flesh.

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LIKE THIS!

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What do you do when you find a robber holding a 19 pound sack of poultry? Think life through and try to find out how you had this coming.

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A man walks into a McDonald's and proceeds to buy a burger, unfortunately a man was robbing the fast food restaurant, what did the man do. Buy a burger

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Why did the koala bear fall out of the tree? Because it's dead.

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What did the Dyslexic man write on his Christmas card? Merry Christmas

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Lol, listen, the suggestion lies in the "not not", you are using not twice in your mind, which under trance makes it so your subconcious registers that you are using a double negative while you consciously do not. Look back at the messages and register consciously that you and I have been using "not not" twice during the past messages, when the net shuts down here, you reinforce the "I will totally notnot, tell him" so the suggestion just gets stronger.

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What to you do when a monkey walks into your bar? Quietly escort it out and into the nearest zoo.

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why did the jew drop his coin? beacuse a nazi killed him before he put it in his pocket

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Two guys walk in a bar, and they die.

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Q: If I have 13 icecubes, and you have 12 icecubes, how many pancakes can I fit on the roof? A: Purple, because aliens don't wear hats.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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