Whats the difference between a walnut and a baby ? Ones fun to hit with a hammer and the other is a walnut

thumb_up thumb_down -9

When Life throws you lemons you might be hallucinating

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why are black people more athletic than whites? Black people originate from Africa, where they lived in a world where athletic ability created natural selection. The most athletic were able to escape dangers of the jungle such as dangerous animals, and were also most apt to find food to survive. Then when the slave trade occured, only the strongest and best fit survived the trip to America and the hard labor. Also, given the socio-economic trends of the United States, African Americans are more likely to grow up in an environment where they have limited opportunity to make a living, besides professional sports, so they play cheap sports like basketball.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

oliver is gay. so much so that he has hex with other men and dosent mind it very much

thumb_up thumb_down -27

A black walks into a bar Because it is still around the time of segregation, they don't serve colored people

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Why did the Mexican wait outside Home Depot all day? He was hoping to be hired as day-labor to provide for his family.

thumb_up thumb_down -55

*Tell your listener to say knock knock* B: Knock knock A: Who's there? B: *awkward silence

thumb_up thumb_down +202

Your mom is so ugly, she buys groceries at the grocery store.

thumb_up thumb_down +82

why did the chicken cross the road? To get away from the sadistic farmer with a loaded shotgun (as the farmer has an extremely large score to settle with the chicken, as his wife was dead, a cause of mad cow disease) thus escaping captivity and starting a new life as a free chicken. God save Martin Luther KIng

thumb_up thumb_down +82

Why'd I have sex with your mom? I'm your father and I love your mother very much

thumb_up thumb_down +54

What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? We're both lawyers

thumb_up thumb_down +42

Why did the elephant cross the river? CAUSE YOLO (even though he died)

thumb_up thumb_down +40

What do you call a black person with a million dollars? A millionaire.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

What happened to the peanut who went to New York City? He got a-salted

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Did you hear the one about the Gay Irish Politician who was running for President?! He withdrew his candidacy.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What do you get when you cross Justin Bieber and One Direction? A bunch of gay pop stars.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did the black man get a life sentence in prison? Because he was involved a mass stabbing in a night club London which saw 4 local teenage girls lose there lives.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

josh- your a strange boy. liam- yes. due to by up bringing i have been exposed to unusual situations that most people do not encounter therefore affecting how i behave. Secondly the definition of normal is varying from person to person making being normal to every human being difficult to even the most capable of people. Essentialy Josh i care little for you comment. *josh was a black man who died of cancer 6 weeks after this incodent*

thumb_up thumb_down

Q: Why did Megan Fox cross the road? A: Because she was running from a giant Decepticon!!! Why else!!!???

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Guy: If I could re-arrange the alphabet, I would put I and u together. Girl: Really because if I could r-arrange the Alphabet I would put f and u together

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Whats plastic and phonie a phone

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Two colleague janitors sit next to each other in the coffee room, one says to the other: About yesterday... I checked three times and it looks pretty normal. Sorry... I wasn't around to hear the question the other posed the day before, but I heard it's supposed to be pretty funny with this answer. So... Less is better then none, right?

thumb_up thumb_down -16

whats green can fly and has legs? a plane i lied about the legs

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops