How do you kill a blonde woman? Stab her in the stomach so all the acidic contents of her stomach slowly burn her flesh.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Your doorbell is broken.

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An insane individual walks into a bank and asks for $500. The teller refuses since he doesn't have an account, so the individual pulls out a gun and asks the teller again. The teller presses the silent panic button, causing the cops to show up and arrest the gunman, but not before he manages to shoot the teller and the small child standing next two counters over.

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A man ingested a hamburger. It proved fatal due to a tomato allergy.

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Why a warm-harted man turned into cold-blooded? He's dead

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What's brown and sticky? Poop.

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A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

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Why did the cookie go to the hospital? Leukemia

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How do you get a black guy out of a tree? Just call the fire department, they're trained for that kind of stuff

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Knock knock. Who's ther? Your friend Billy i've been shot and need help

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Why can't blondes change a lightbulb? Because they're women

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What's 2+2? It's certainly not 1.

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Whats worse than the holocaust? Finding your babies head in a microwave

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Patient: Doctor, will I be able to play the piano when my arm heals? Doctor: Did I not tell you? You insurance didn't cover the cost of this operation. Your arm is never going to be healed!

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How do you make a plumber cry? You kill his family.

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Why did the priest touch the little boy? To Baptise him.

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How did Hellen Keller's parents punish her? They sent her to her room.

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Why is 6 scared of 7? Because 7 is a registered sex offender.

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A Jew and a Nazi have dinner together...... they both immensely enjoyed the wine.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Some poems rhyme, Others don't.

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why did the monkey fall out of the tree? it was dead.

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A women go hit by a car, what everyone woners though, how did the car get in between the bedroom and the kitchen?

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Knock Knock Who's there? Can people stop posting grammatically incorrect jokes on here. Half of the sentences do not make sense.

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Roses are red violets are blue poems don't have to rhyme..... Refrigerator

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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