Why can't Michael Jackson play chess? Cause he's dead.

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An Irishman walked into a pub and ordered a pint. He had planned to just have one but ended up having two since he'd had a rough day at work. His wife was slightly annoyed that he came home smelling of beer.

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SNAPPLE!

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Why did the U.S.A. vote in a black president? Because racial prejudice is a thing of the past and the U.S.A. is a liberal and progressive nation.

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How are a duck and a tri-cycle the same? They both have handlebars, except for the duck.

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What do you call a black person with a million dollars? A millionaire.

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Your mother is so good in the kitchen that we all asked for a second helping.

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Whats plastic and phonie a phone

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What do you tell a black man walking down the street with a suspicious look to him. Hey, how's it going?

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What did the adverb say to the noun? Hopefully whale.

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why does crazy george spin a ball on his fingers well? because he has a huge dingo

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? I lost my tractor.

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Tim tebow is the anti christ

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What did the man on a business trip to Japan say to his wife on the phone? The nuclear reactor in the next city over is melting down as we speak. If I don't see you again, I love you.

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A three legged dog walks into the bar and says, " I'm lookin' for the man that shot my paw." The bartender replies, "Your father was an honorable man, and I wish I could help."

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did you know that Hellen Keller had a tree house? "no" she didn't know either.

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How do you make a plumber cry? You kill his family.

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What do you do when you find a robber holding a 19 pound sack of poultry? Think life through and try to find out how you had this coming.

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How did Hellen Keller's parents punish her? They sent her to her room.

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What did the Leah say to the Pawneez? AWWWW YEAHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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What did the boy say to the Vietnam veteran? Where are your legs?

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OneBigAssMistakeAmerica

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How many dead children can you fit in a garbage can? Give me a knife and i will find out

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What did the convicted necrophiliac pedophile do when he found a dead baby? He reported it to the authorities because despite his past habits and behaviour, and after years of rehabilitation he became a responsible and considerate citizen

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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