What do you call an arab flying a 747? A pliot.

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whats 2+2? gonorrhea.

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Michael J. Fox asked me if I wanted my drink shaken or stirred, did I really have a choice?

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What did the convicted necrophiliac pedophile do when he found a dead baby? He reported it to the authorities because despite his past habits and behaviour, and after years of rehabilitation he became a responsible and considerate citizen

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Q. Where do snowmen keep their money? A. A snowman is an anthropomorphic snow sculpture made of frozen water. They therefore cannot earn, keep or have any use for money.

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Two colleague janitors sit next to each other in the coffee room, one says to the other: About yesterday... I checked three times and it looks pretty normal. Sorry... I wasn't around to hear the question the other posed the day before, but I heard it's supposed to be pretty funny with this answer. So... Less is better then none, right?

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What did George W. Bush say to his wife when he got home? I'm home.

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No, I still have to make sense of some facts bits and pieces here, and thinking is pretty much the only thing I can do at this moment, so why would my doppelganger wannabe call me from her mothers place?

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Your mom is so ugly that she is still a virgin, you don't exist you're just a figment of my imagination.\

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You're mama's so ugly, she will most-likely never meet a compatible mate and die alone.

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knock knock who's there? Kallie Kallie who? sorry, wrong house

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A man rubs a magic lamp nothing happens

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? He wasn't because he wasn't capable of having emotions after he fell into a coma and died 10 months ago after a severe car crash involving a drunk driver. The believed driver,3 had a blood alcohol of .26 and rear ended 6's car at 60 mph. 3 was uninjured and promptly arrested but....6 wasn't so lucky. The doctors said there was no chance of him coming back and they pulled the plug.He was only 9 days away from his 32nd birthday. The funeral was held shortly after, 7 seemed the most upset and couldn't hold back the tears well enough to make it through the whole service. The family is now forever scarred. In Loving Memory of 6 February 22,1982-February 13,2014 Loving father, Caring husband, Forever in our hearts

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What did the Dyslexic man write on his Christmas card? Merry Christmas

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who has brown eyes blonde hair and red lips a human-being

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Why did the koala bear fall out of the tree? Because it's dead.

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A baby seal walks into a club...

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Guy: If I could re-arrange the alphabet, I would put I and u together. Girl: Really because if I could r-arrange the Alphabet I would put f and u together

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A man goes to Church he meets God nothing happens

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How is nothing something if it is nothing?...

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What's the difference between a joke and an anti joke Bananas

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I hate girls that try to act hard. Like calm down you dont got a dick.

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Three a man is trapped on a desert island and a genie offers to grant him one wish. The man accepts the existence of the genie and then wishes for unlimited wishes for the rest of his life. The man takes over the world.

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A young boy is concerned about his fathers health, due to the fact he may have cancer. Turns out, he doesn't. So they got ice cream.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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