Why did the man complain of pain in his ankle? Because several consecutive tissue samples of the area revealed a rapidly metastasizing neoplasm. Blood samples indicated the presence of what appeared to be Hodgkins Lymphoma. The man was very wealthy, however, and had world class doctors treat him. He then donated a vast portion of his wealth to research.

How many dead children can you fit in a garbage can? Give me a knife and i will find out

How are you this morning?

What is green and fuzzy and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you? A pool table.

What do you get when you cross Justin Bieber and One Direction? A bunch of gay pop stars.

Knock knock Who's there? Yolanda I do not know anyone by that name. I am sorry Oh I must be at the wrong house. My apologies. Oh, it's alright. Have a nice day You too. Take care!

Hey you want to here a joke? I can't think of one

Whats white and all over my room? paint

Why can't a T-Rex clap? Because they're extinct

When life gives you skittles, throw them at random people and say "taste the freaking rainbow!"

What did the man on a business trip to Japan say to his wife on the phone? The nuclear reactor in the next city over is melting down as we speak. If I don't see you again, I love you.

A man runs into a bar, he is in a coma for 7 years and most likely going to die, of severe brain damage.

What is it called when a black man does cocaine? A felony.

One day, I was looking at my brand new wooden table, and I thought, "wow, that is a very nice brand new wooden table." And then my dog peed on it. I killed the dog.

rosses are red violets are blue poems are hard alligator

What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Biting into another apple and finding another worm.

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Why did the policeman arrest the black man? He had commited a crime and murdered somebody.

A priest walks into a bar, which is suprising because priests don't usually go to bars.

What did the convicted necrophiliac pedophile do when he found a dead baby? He reported it to the authorities because despite his past habits and behaviour, and after years of rehabilitation he became a responsible and considerate citizen

How did the black man get a new television? He worked hard and put away a small percentage of his weekly wage in order to save for this new addition to his household.

What happens when you put a cat in an oven? Don't, because it will die.

A blonde brunette and redhead all jump off a building. Who hit the ground first? The brunette because she jumped first

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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