My mother-in-law is so ugly I actually feel quite sorry for her.

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What do you get when you cross a blond with a plank of wood? A blond with a plank of wood on her head.

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170

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I SHOT SOMEBODY!!!! Said no stormtrooper ever.

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wats worse than gettin bitched at by ur mom? gettin raped by a giant scorpian n getting SUPER ULTRA MEGA AIDS

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he has Obsessive Complusive Disorder.

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What do you call a man covered in magnets? Attractive

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How come the black man couldn't be seen on film? He could be seen on film, he's not a vampire.

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hey i just F****d u and this is crazy so delete the number and keep the baby

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what did the cow said to the other cow? Moo

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Q: How many babies does it take to paint a shed? A: Considering babies are incapable of rational thought it is unlikely they would understand how to employ the correct method to paint.

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Knock Knock Who's there? A package, the UPS man is already back in his truck.

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What's 7+7? 14 you dumbass

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Justin Bieber

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Why did the dog cross the road? He was on a walk with his owner so they used a crosswalk to safely get back home.

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How do you make a baby cry? Break its legs.

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There was a mexican man and a chinese man, They walked into a bomb shop and bought three bombs, then left.

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Har har hey

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Q. What is the difference between a bird and a fly? A. A bird can fly, but a fly can't.

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HEY are you aware of how tired your suitcase is? Sorry, I rest my case.

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why couldn't the little girl play on the swing? Matty Russel was chasing her

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What happens when Chuck Norris jumps off the 3rd floor. He falls to the ground and hurts himself badly

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So there's this boy who really love clowns. His room is adorned with circus and clown posters and his one dream is to go to a circus and see a clown. One day he sees an ad in the newspaper for a circus that was headed toward his town. He begged and pleaded to his parents to let him go, and when they finally agreed he was ecstatic. The boy was in awe of all the things that the circus held, elephants, lions, tightrope walkers and trapeze artists, but there was nothing he was more excited for then the main show with the clowns. He took a seat and out came the clown on a unicycle. The boy was having the time of his life, when the clown suddenly called for someone from the audience. The boy immediately ran to the center of the stage. The clown asked the boy "Are you a horse's head?" then held the mic to the boy. "No," he replied. "Are you a horse's mouth?" "No." "Then you must be a horse's BUTT!" The crowd erupted in laughter and the boy was mortified. He ran out of the circus tent and vowed never to return. He grew up with a hatred for clowns and even had to see multiple therapists. 30 years passed and the boy was now a man. The man looked in his morning paper, only to see that a circus was in town. He decided he would visit one last time. There it was, the elephants and tightrope walkers. And then he saw it, the same clown from 30 years ago in the same show. He walked up and the clown asked the same questions. "Are you a horse's head?" "No." "Are you a horse's mouth?" "No." "Then you must be a horse's BUTT!" Then man the took the microphone from the clown and said, "Screw you clown."

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How is it you become the true badass you say? Its a very complicated process that takes decades of training, and many failed attempts on before you become the one, true badass on the entire planet. Once you had done it. People will love you forever, there would be parades, parties, celebrations, even a holiday, just for you and you alone. Too bad I'll never tell you.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops