What's worse than finding half a worm in your apple? Having a refrigerator fall on you

thumb_up thumb_down -154

Why did the alligator travel through time? To get to the other side.

thumb_up thumb_down +127

Roses are red My binoculars are blue The curtains are open I see you

thumb_up thumb_down +31

So you there Red?

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Haiku's are three lines long. This isn't a haiku.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

A: Ask me if I'm a truck. B: Are you a truck? A: No.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Whats better than a dead baby? A dead baby in a clown suit

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What's green and fluffy? Red fluff, if you're color blind.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Why'd the monkey fall out of the tree? it was dead Why'd the second monkey fall out of the tree? it was stapled to the first monkey Why'd the third monkey fall out of the tree? peer pressure Why'd the fourth monkey fall out of the tree? his girlfriend broke up with him so he commited suicide Why'd the fifth monkey fall out of the tree? cuz it was a dumbass

thumb_up thumb_down +23

I asked my Grandma if she ever tried 69. And she said, “No, but I have done 53 -- that's all the sailors I could screw in one night.”

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Why did the chicken cross the road? It wanted honey. Why did the chicken cross the road? It wanted to get to his house. Why did the chicken cross the road? It was stupid.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why did the policeman arrest the black man? He had commited a crime and murdered somebody.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why does Mike Tyson always win his fights? Because he hides in a refridgerator

thumb_up thumb_down +9

I have Alzheimer's, but at least I don't have Alzheimer's.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What did the cow say to the bull. they had kids because they shared an interest in being silent.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Mary once had a boyfriend with a wooden leg; however, itt was a highly dysfunctional relationship, as the boyfriend was much too possessive of Mary. So Mary was forced to bring a close to the relationship.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

What has wings but is often on the ground? An aircraft that has frequent take-off problems.

thumb_up thumb_down -37

What did the midget say to the clown that was blocking the doorway? Excuse me

thumb_up thumb_down -43

A woman comes to the doctor with a dog and the doctor says: -What are you doing here, dog? Get the hell out of here, you're an animal.

thumb_up thumb_down -47

Why did the car slam its brakes on? There was a infant under the bonnet.

thumb_up thumb_down +198

Your mother is so ugly that when she looks in the mirror she feels bad about her appearance.

thumb_up thumb_down +48

An impolite guy walks into a bar... and doesn't apologize to the bar.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

Why did Sally fall off the swing set. Cuz she had no arms or legs. Knock Knock Who's there Not Sally

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Miley Cyrus.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops