So this one time at band camp... a flute gave me an STD.

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What's brown and sticky? Poop.

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What do you get when you mix a racoon and a human. A Smoothie

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What do you call a gardener in Mexico? Un Jardinero.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a Scout? The Scout gets to come home from camp.

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What do you give a sick bird? First-Aid tweetment.

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A little boy asked his mom what fucking was, so she showed him.

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What's the difference between a bowl of chili and a urologist? One's hot and spicy, and the other analyzes urine [Emo Philips]

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Why did the car slam its brakes on? There was a infant under the bonnet.

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What do you get when you cross a dog and a cat? A hybrid animal that can never exist to do each species own genetic make-up which would subsequently reject the other's. I.E. The cat would reject the dog sperm from ever fertilizing and the dog would reject cat sperm.

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What's the difference between a joke and an anti-joke? I don't know man, but you touch yourself at night.

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I asked my Grandma if she ever tried 69. And she said, “No, but I have done 53 -- that's all the sailors I could screw in one night.”

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Knock Knock Who's there? Orange Oranges don't talk

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America

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My mother-in-law is so ugly I actually feel quite sorry for her.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I am not using commas That is improper punctuation.

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How many ants does it take to fill an apartment? It depends on the size of the apartment.

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What do you do when a bear chases you? Run.

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Are women better than men? Dont know but what we do know is they swing at bigger balls (softballs), shoot from lower basketball nets, do pushups from their knees. Shall I go on?

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Why did the Mxican eat the taco? Because he was hungry,

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How many Jews died in the Holocaust? Not enough.

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What do you call a car that is green? A Green Car.

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Robin- Hey, Batman, can i drive tonight? Batman- Eat my left dick Robin- OK, Batman, but can i still ... mmuupfm fmuupmf... I suppose that means no... mmmupf mmfupfmpfmum...

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Why did the Turkey cross the road? Because it was stapled to the chicken

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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