A. Why did John survive the plane crash? B. Because he was master chief and he is awesom although cortana did not which John is sad about naturally.

Why did the football player go to the bank? He had to make a deposit and refinance his home.

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Did you see stevie wonders new house? No. Well he hasnt either

What's the difference between a Jew and a Scout? The Scout gets to come home from camp.

Knock, Knock Whose there? your friend Oh ok (opens the door) (it was not his friend but instead it was a giant panda who robbed him of his goods).

Your mother is so ugly that when she looks in the mirror she feels bad about her appearance.

9/11/01 was a terrible day I got dirt on my suit when touring NY

Are you a tree? No.

whats first than finding a worm in your apple? a blonde who asks you why there is a worm in your apple

Where is my tractor?

America

What do you do when you see a mentally challenged kid in a wheelchair? Walk up and offer to push him, as you should since he probably hasn't had a lot of friends in his lifetime.

What happens if you fight Chuck Norris? You might lose or win.

roses are red violets are blue i suck at poetry show me your tits

Roses are red Violets are blue I am not using commas That is improper punctuation.

I SHOT SOMEBODY!!!! Said no stormtrooper ever.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he has Obsessive Complusive Disorder.

Whenever anybody asks me to help me find something they lost, I say: "Look where it is and you will find it."

Mary once had a boyfriend with a wooden leg; however, itt was a highly dysfunctional relationship, as the boyfriend was much too possessive of Mary. So Mary was forced to bring a close to the relationship.

Tyler: Hey, James if you were a cavemen you would die. James: Why? Tyler: Because everybody hates you.

Why did Sally drown? She wasn't wearing a life jacket and it was the the seventh time she had fallen off her water skis today. Her father was not coming back this time.

what do you call a black guy who flies planes? a pilot

pigs are sometimes pink GOSH

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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