Guy 1: Ever heard of Ethiopian food? Guy 2: No habla espanol... Guy 1: Oh....

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what do you call a cow? A cow

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What do get when you cross a truck and a cliff? Flames.

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Women's Rights.

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What's red and invisible? No Tomatoes

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A one legged long jumper missed the world record by one foot.

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Who eats chicken noodle soup? Anybody who enjoys chicken noodle soup.

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Yes.

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What did the smoker get for christmas? A bike.

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A horse walks into a bar the barkeeper asks 'Why the long face?' The horse, incapable of speaking English, walked around in a circle, excreated and left.

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Whats the difference between a baby and a watermelon? Ones fun to hit with a sledgehammer. The other one is a watermelon.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? I lost my tractor!

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What did the squirrel say to the dog? "I have AIDS."

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So this one time at band camp... a flute gave me an STD.

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A man with a badly injured arm is sitting in a hospital. He says, "Doctor, when my arm heals, will I be able to play the violin?" The doctor says, "With proper medical attention and rest, yes, you will be able to." The man says, "That's great! Before I was hurt, I really enjoyed playing the violin."

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What is a vampires favorite desert? Vampires aren't real.

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What do you do when a bear chases you? Run.

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What's the difference between a duck and a goose? They're two completely different water fowl.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Wheres my tractor? -Cody Williams

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What happened after a Mexican drank 4 shots? He got drunk and died in a car accident.

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When does the narwhal bacon? When the universe looses its realism to the point where every animals' meat is bacon at a certain time, and a person hunts a narwhal at the crack of dawn when there is a triple rainbow and the narwhal's DNA is combined with a pig's just long enough for the meat to be bacon when the person shoots it.

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Why did the baby cross the road? It was tied to the chicken

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Ask me if I am a tree Are you a tree? ..no

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You don't need to know a girls period schedule. Just look in the garbage.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops