Why was the cancer patient in the hospital? Her mother threw a rock at her head.

A inventor was wandering around the desert one day, then he found a magic lamp, he rubbed on it and thus came up a genie! The genie asked: What do you want? The inventor responded: Meh, no idea... Thy wish is granted, answered the genie. The now ex inventor never came up with something new ever again.. Moral: Huh?

What did the girl fruit say to the boy fruit when he wanted to marry her? "No."

How do you make a doctor upset? Teabag his dying mother

When the black man was driving his car, why did he stop in front of the gun store? Because his car's velocity reached zero at that location.

why did the duck cross the road? More than likely there was something that appeals to the duck on the other side such as a pond or duck food. On the contrary there could also be something that did not appeal to the duck on the side from which he is departing from such as a lack of a pond or a lack of duck food.

Grammar ... the difference between knowing your shit, and knowing you're shit.

Did you hear about the circus fire? It was intense

Husband: Shut up, there is now playing for Real Madrid Woman: So what? come help me clean. Husband:after the game,now shut up. Woman:Everyone knows Barcelona better... Police: So you're saying your wife fell on the knife alone?

Quizno's footlongs are four dollars...

What do get when you cross a truck and a cliff? Flames.

So this one time at band camp... a flute gave me an STD.

A man with a badly injured arm is sitting in a hospital. He says, "Doctor, when my arm heals, will I be able to play the violin?" The doctor says, "With proper medical attention and rest, yes, you will be able to." The man says, "That's great! Before I was hurt, I really enjoyed playing the violin."

What do you get when you mix a racoon and a human. A Smoothie

What's brown and sticky? a stick

What do you do when a bear chases you? Run.

How do you kill a crackhead Put her in a shredder and put the remainings in your ex wifes refrigerator

What did the picture say to the man? Don't frame me

Roses are red. Violets are blue. I am colourblind so screw you!

What's the difference between a Jew and a piece of coal? The coal doesn't scream when you burn it.

Who gave Max head georgia Hidi

did you know that Hellen Keller had a tree house? "no" she didn't know either.

A man walks in to a wooden door. He's blind.

What do you say to a man, who calls you 3 AM? - "Hello!"

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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