What do a duck and a bike have in common? They both have handle bars except for the duck

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whats funnier than a penguin playing a banjo? i don't know because I've never seen one and probably never will because it is a highly improbable event.

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Q: what did the tractor say when helost his farmer? A: wheres my farmer?

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What happens if you fight Chuck Norris? You might lose or win.

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What's broken to the side of the road and covered in cookie crumbs? A girlscout that got hit by a car.

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why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 8 9 jokes numbers dont have mouths

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What did santa say to the little girl on Christmas Eve? Santa isn't real, but pedophiles are.

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Why did the football player go to the bank? He had to make a deposit and refinance his home.

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What's the difference between a pizza and a jew? A pizza doesn't scream when you put it in the oven

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How many worms dose it take to eat an apple? One.

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What is Justin Beiber's favorite pastime? According to his biography, it's reading science fiction novels

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What do you call a white guy with a taller black woman? A man in a deeply committed relationship.

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What did one Teacher say to the other teacher? Nothing. The first teacher has a horrible drinking habbit which is getting out of hand, He beats his wife and children each night after his drinks at the bar. His parents have stopped all contact and he found some divorce papers in his wifes draw, also saying she would be getting full costudy of the children. He has lost the majority of his friends and didnt want to loose another one, and kept his problems to himself.

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Why does steve wonder always smile? He doesn't know he's black

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Q: Why was the boy sad? A: He dropped his ice cream. Q: Why was the boy mad? A: He dropped his ice cream. Q: Why was the boy in pain? A: Because a clown was ripping off the boys big toes with a hacksaw, all the while causing the small boy emotional pains by killing the boy's orange cat.

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The dog buried it's bone. The next day it unburied it, and chewed on it until it was wrecked.

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Q: what's black and white and red all over? A: someone getting murderd on a news paper

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Why didn't Valerie go on over to Amy's house? Because she's dead.

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What's wrong the a man who can't tell where he is, can't tell where he's going, and doesn't know how to use a map? Downs Syndrome

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What did the picture say to the man? Don't frame me

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what would be worse then 9/11 and the holocaust? -if the twin towers fell on a concentration camp

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What makes Stephen Hawking such a lame scientist??? A: he has a disabling disease. It's called ALS.

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2 men walk into a bar. The first man proceeds to fall on the ground and let out a string of obscenities, obviously in excruciating pain. The second man, fearing that he may have suffered some sort of concussion, immediately goes to his doctor and gets checked out. He is still awaiting results.

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What do you call a black man in space? an astronaut

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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