Q: Why was the boy sad? A: He dropped his ice cream. Q: Why was the boy mad? A: He dropped his ice cream. Q: Why was the boy in pain? A: Because a clown was ripping off the boys big toes with a hacksaw, all the while causing the small boy emotional pains by killing the boy's orange cat.

What happened when the dinosaur walked out into the rain? He got wet.

What is Green and taste like an apple? An Apple

Roses are red Violets are blue I have five finger and the middle is for you

What's black and hangs from trees? tires ...and black people

whats funnier than a penguin playing a banjo? i don't know because I've never seen one and probably never will because it is a highly improbable event.

Joe Paterno dosn't walk into a police station.-South Park

What do you do when your dishwasher isn't working? Beat it senseless, and then tell your wife you need a new one.

Why did Jordan miss the bus? The bus didn't miss hitting him.

Whats worse than a dead baby in a puddle of blood? A dead baby in soup.

what is brown and shaped like a tree?

Why does Shaun's dad beat him? Because Shaun is an asshole.

The iguana is the only mammal capable of photosynthesis.

*Knock knock* Who's there? *Silence* (The person knocking is deaf)

What did the doctor say to the terminally ill patient? Your going to die.

When the black man was driving his car, why did he stop in front of the gun store? Because his car's velocity reached zero at that location.

Why did the blonde laugh at the funeral? She suffers from autism, and doesn't understand when it isn't appropriate laugh. The mourners at the funeral, understanding this problem, ignored her and carried on with the service.

Why did Sally fall off the swing? -- Because she had no arms Why did sally drop her ice cream? -- Because she got ran over by the ice cream truck

Why did Jake not get on the bus? Answer: Because Jake is a dog. Dogs are not allowed on the bus.

A man walks into a restaurant and orders a rare steak. Soon after, he gets food poisoning.

Why couldn't Carys answer the phone? - She had an ear infection.

Roses Are Red Violets are blue A face like yours belong in a zoo Don't worry ill be there too Not in the cage but laughing at you

Why did Nigel decide to lie and remain on the ground? He didn't. Somebody beat him ruthlessly and stole his wheelchair. Nigel has no legs by the way.

How did the ship-less pirate cross the Atlantic? In an airplane.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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