Whats funny about a car crash? If a bowl of soup is talking.

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Why couldn't the asian drive the car. He was underage and did not have his license yet.

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What did Batman say to Robin before they get into the Batmobile? -Come on Robin, get into the Batmobile!

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How do you kill a blond? You don't. If you do, you'll get reported to the cops and sent to jail.

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A man walking on a beach looks into the surf and sees a beautiful oil lamp floating to shore. Wondering who in the heck uses oil lamps anymore, he picks it up, sees a bit of crust on the side, and rubs it clean. Just then a burst of smoke comes out of the lamp, and a genie floats out and stands before the man. "Oh master, thank you for releasing me from the lamp. In thanks, I grant to you one wish. Anything you ask for, it will be true," said the genie. "One wish? What happened to three," asked the man. "Dude, don't push it. We're in a recession. So what's your wish?" "OK. OK. I ... I... I WISH I WAS RICH!" screamed the man. The genie folded his arms, blinked twice, scratched his nose, nodded his head, and spun in a circle twice. "And it is SO!" he cried out. The man looked at himself, looked at the genie, but nothing seemed to have changed. "WTF, genie. Am I rich?" The genie replied, "Well no. You said, 'I wish I was rich.' I made you rich... ten years ago. You were rich. Now you're not. You used the indicative mood 'was.' If you wanted it to become true now in the present, you should have used the subjunctive mood 'were.'"

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There was a Mexican, a Chinese, and an American on a plane. The Mexican threw down a sack of beans, the Chinese threw down a sack of rice, and the American threw down a bomb. The plane landed. When the three passengers stepped out of the plane, they were hungry.

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What did santa say to the little girl on Christmas Eve? Santa isn't real, but pedophiles are.

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Why did the boat sink? It ran into an iceberg.

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HEY EVERYONE THUMBS UP!

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Abe Lincoln, George Washington, George Bush and Barack Obama are sitting at a table at a bar. They discuss politics and time travel.

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Roses are red violets are blue i heart my toilet Becuase it holds all my POO!!!!!!!!

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartenders says, "why the long face?" The horse doesn't respond because horses do not comprehend English. He then becomes startled by his surroundings and bolts out of the bar, knocking over a few tables.

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What happens if you fight Chuck Norris? You might lose or win.

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It's a bird! No it's a plane! No you idiots, it's only a cloud.

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4 is half the number 8 is.

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No Mom! No! I DON'T WANT TO HAVE SEX WITH YOU!

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Your mams so fat that she has aids... and i gave it to her

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You're a wizard Harry! I am?

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-I once had a dog with no legs, and do you know how I named him? -...? -I didn't name him, he wouldn't come...

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What do Micheal Jackson and Niel Armstrong have in common? Armstrong did the earthwalk on the moon and Jackson F#$%ed little boys in the butt.

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Why couldn't Jimmy drive the tractor? Because he has no arms or legs. Why doesn't he have any arms or legs? Because he is a potato.

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What did a tampon say to the other tampon? Nothing, they were both stuck up bitches.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? James. James who? James from work. Oh, come on in.

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Mexicans are like waffles

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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