Guess what? what. You guessed it!!

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what do you call a cow? A cow

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I was trying to think of a joke to write, but then I became unsatisfied with my creativity and began to spiral into a depressing tangent of thoughts. I just took 37 Ambien, and have approximately ten minutes to live. Instead, I will spend my last moments writing goodbye messages to friends on Facebook and longingly looking at images of the past. Goodbye, world.

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Guess what i realized when i became 18? I was 18

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A priest, a nun, and a rabbi walk into a bar. There's a massive earthquake and the bar collapses to the ground, killing everyone inside.

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Are You McDonalds Because I'm Loving It

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Why did the people thumbs-up the anti-joke? Because I threatened them with A GUN

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What do Micheal Jackson and Niel Armstrong have in common? Armstrong did the earthwalk on the moon and Jackson F#$%ed little boys in the butt.

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What did one Teacher say to the other teacher? Nothing. The first teacher has a horrible drinking habbit which is getting out of hand, He beats his wife and children each night after his drinks at the bar. His parents have stopped all contact and he found some divorce papers in his wifes draw, also saying she would be getting full costudy of the children. He has lost the majority of his friends and didnt want to loose another one, and kept his problems to himself.

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What did the poor sickly orphan get for Christmas? Nothing.

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Roses are red violets are blue I hate rhyming pancakes

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How do you avoid being hit with a toaster? You don't walk past the man hitting you with a toaster.

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Why did Jordan miss the bus? The bus didn't miss hitting him.

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How does a spider write its diary entries every night? With a pen.

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From a picture, it is difficult to tell the difference between an apatosaurus and a diplodocus.

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A penguin is driving through Arizona when his car's oil pressure light comes on. He drops his car off with a mechanic who says he'll get to it soon, and to come back in an hour. The penguin leaves the garage and, seeing a Baskin-Robbins across the street, stops in and orders a dish of ice cream. As he eats the ice cream he reflects on the series of extraordinary events that led him to this place, this time, this situation.

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my president is black, my lambo's blue, $14,400,000,000,000 national debt

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The iguana is the only mammal capable of photosynthesis.

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What did the doctor say to the terminally ill patient? Your going to die.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he had already looked both ways and there was no traffic.

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What is Justin Beiber's favorite pastime? According to his biography, it's reading science fiction novels

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What do you call a black person that flies a plane? A pilot.

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The King stands next to a pole. The King goes away, the pole stays there.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have a gun, Get in the van.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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