Why did the pirate fall off his ship? He got pushed off by another pirate

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Why is your face? Because.

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What does a baby sound like when put in the microwave? I don't know, I was masturbating.

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Whats even funnier than watching two black guys with guns attempting to shoot people Just about everything

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why did the chicken cross the road. why? because he felt like it

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Baking a cake can be very hard and stressful, just like beating a slut with an axe.

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How do you make a doctor upset? Teabag his dying mother

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A man walks out of a bar followed by the people he came with because they just announced "last call". The man is the designated driver for the night.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the dog, which also fell out of the tree.

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knock knock whose there?? seth oh, come in

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Yo mamma's so fat, she should try NutriSystem.

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Q: What do you call a black pilot? A: A pilot, you racist

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What's brown and sticky? Poop.

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I was trying to think of a joke to write, but then I became unsatisfied with my creativity and began to spiral into a depressing tangent of thoughts. I just took 37 Ambien, and have approximately ten minutes to live. Instead, I will spend my last moments writing goodbye messages to friends on Facebook and longingly looking at images of the past. Goodbye, world.

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What's worse than repeating holocaust jokes? Repeating the holocaust.

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whats worse than 9/11 a paper cut

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The chicken hesitated to cross the road. It pondered endlessly on the ramifications of not crossing the road, the future jokes that would never have been made. So it crossed the road with no real purpose for others to come up with unique ideas. Just kidding there is no proof that chickens have ever existed. There is proof that Barack Obama is a woman, however.

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What do you call a black man selling drugs? average

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Miss Polly had a Dolly who was sick sick sick So she called for the Doctor to come quick quick quick The doctor came with his bag and his hat And he knocked on the door with a rat-tat-tat. He looked at Polly's Dolly and he shook his head. He said she had leprosy and must have all her limbs amputated.

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What's wrong the a man who can't tell where he is, can't tell where he's going, and doesn't know how to use a map? Downs Syndrome

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Why did the feminist cross the road? To suck a penis

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What is the difference between a pumpkin and a dead baby? There are thousands of differences between a dead human and the fruit of a pumpkin plant. One of them is that I didn't choke my wife to death with a pumpkin. Another is that pumpkins have a stem.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know your mother is a skank.

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What do you do when a elephant is sitting on your fence? You hit it with a fridge

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops