A black guy and a white guy walk into a bar, they were both unemployed and blowing their savings on their alcohol addictions

Moves Like AJgger- Marron 5

Why did Suzy's neck hurt? Because it was broken

Why did the moron jump through the window?

How many hamburgers can a grizzly bear eat? Maybe 6.

roses are grey violets are grey im colorblind but your face is still black!!!

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Actually 6 wasn't afraid of 7 because numbers have are not living things, therefore have no consciousness or emotions, meaning that numerical digits can not have a fear or be afraid of another number.

A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as that could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

Jews...

A man walks into a bar. He's an alcoholic, and it's destroying he's family

A baby seal walks into a club.

Whats Brown and sticky... Shit

What does the Cookie Monster eat? Nothing. The Cookie Monster is not a living, sentient being and does not require sustenance to live.

Why did the one-legged chicken say déjà vu? It felt a strong sensation that the current event had been experienced in the past.

I was in the middle of downloading a porno of two hot girls getting it on, my computer got a virus and crashed.

-I once had a dog with no legs, and do you know how I named him? -...? -I didn't name him, he wouldn't come...

Q: Whats worse than the death of flappy bird? A: The holocaust.

What do you get when you cross a turtle and a cheetah? A fictional animal.

There are two people in this world; people who finish their sentences and people who

What did the Neo-Nazi say to the Jew? Hello.

knock knock who's there? roses are red, violets are blue, i shit in a bag and now its in flames on your porch

What's the difference between a pizza and a Jew? If you eat a Jew, you're deemed a cannibal and are frowned upon by the majority of society.

whats long black, eight inches and sometimes has white on the tips of them? a black mans foot the wears an eight inch shoe.

Confucius says... The superior man, when resting in safety, does not forget that danger may come. When in a state of security he does not forget the possibility of ruin. When all is orderly, he does not forget that disorder may come. Thus his person is not endangered, and his States and all their clans are preserved.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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