Friends are like snow: If you piss on them, they disappear.

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Bob fell off his roof.

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Whats worse than dying? Nothing, really.

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Do you know what does Wikipedia says about Elton John ? It says that Sir Elton Hercules John, CBE (born Reginald Kenneth Dwight; 25 March 1947) is an English singer-songwriter, composer and pianist. He has worked with his songwriting partner Bernie Taupin since 1967; they have collaborated on more than 30 albums to date.

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What Happends When Sawdust Gets in your mouth You poop logs

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I'm tired of your blind jokes, I just don't see the humor in them........

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It's a bird! No it's a plane! No you idiots, it's only a cloud.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. The chicken got crushed by a fridge.

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If a rooster lays a brown egg on the south side of an Asian man's roof, which way would I turn at the intersection? Folderol, because laundry has no soul.

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What do you get when you sunflower? Vegan turtles.

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You copy and paster!

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What do you call a blonde on the Moon? That depends on what her name is.

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Paige

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Why didn't Joe have any friends? Because according to Thomas Hobbes man is anti-social by nature and therefore the only friends that he has are purely to reach his own ends and thus Joe cannot truly have friends in the sense that many use the word.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he happened to be walking in that general direction.

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Why are so many children obese? Because they eat to much and they are not physically active enough

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Roses are red Violets are blue But this is Italy So let me fuck you

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What do you call an owl that is a magician too? Owls cannot be magician you retard.

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What do Micheal Jackson and Niel Armstrong have in common? Armstrong did the earthwalk on the moon and Jackson F#$%ed little boys in the butt.

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What do you get when you cross a turtle and a cheetah? A fictional animal.

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What did the senile man say to the kids on his lawn? Tree dance the gator thong for my nipples.

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What do call a black piano player? A pianist.

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What's the difference between a pizza and a Jew? If you eat a Jew, you're deemed a cannibal and are frowned upon by the majority of society.

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A horse walks into a bar, it gets a concussion. -mattobrado

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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