what do you tell a woman with two black eyes? nothing you already told her twice

thumb_up thumb_down -49

What did Batman say to Robin before they got into the car? Robin get in the car.

thumb_up thumb_down -85

What is the difference between a joke, and an antijoke? A joke is actually funny.

thumb_up thumb_down -115

Yo mamma's so fat, she should try NutriSystem.

thumb_up thumb_down +62

What did Batman say to Robin before they get into the Batmobile? -Come on Robin, get into the Batmobile!

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Knock Knock. Who's There? Jehovah's Witnesses.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Two sausages were in a pan. One says "Wow it's hot in here!" the other says "OH MY GOD A TALKING SAUSAGE"

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. The chicken got crushed by a fridge.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Sheesh people! Stop insulting my last comment! Do not GO into my comment section, I do not WANT YOU to keep thumbing up those that call me pedo. Moral: Norway... you gonna call us all pedophiles? Please... besides I prefer them over nineteen... the downside is that they often got a couple of kids already at that age... Sigh...

thumb_up thumb_down -8

How do you make a baby spin? Put it in a blender and turn it on.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why did the man mow his lawn without his shirt on? Because it was very hot out.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Your mom's so fat that her doctor recommended that she exercise regularly and foods with nutritional value!!!! Oh burn!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What do you do when a elephant is sitting on your fence? You hit it with a fridge

thumb_up thumb_down -30

how do you get a clown to fall off a swing? hit it with an axe

thumb_up thumb_down -34

In the attic lights Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Lights, voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic

thumb_up thumb_down -74

What kind of "room" can you not enter? One with a locked door.

thumb_up thumb_down -104

Why are so many children obese? Because they eat to much and they are not physically active enough

thumb_up thumb_down -128

A black guy and a white guy walk into a bar, they were both unemployed and blowing their savings on their alcohol addictions

thumb_up thumb_down +91

What do you get when you cross a turtle and a cheetah? A fictional animal.

thumb_up thumb_down +85

What did the homeless war veteran get for christmas? Nothing because we don't treat our veterans very well.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

whats long black, eight inches and sometimes has white on the tips of them? a black mans foot the wears an eight inch shoe.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

A dog walked into a bar. The bartender barked at the dog and the dog replied with, "I don't speak dog language."

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What's worst than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

It's a bird! No it's a plane! No you idiots, it's only a cloud.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops