Justin Littleton's mom accidentally texting him about buying weed, and then offering to buy him ice cream to make up for it.

why was Helen Keller a bad driver? She was a Women

a black man and a squirrel get hit on two different roads what's the difference? well for starters theyre two different species. a squirrel is much smaller than a human and has his own mark on society. the man will be missed dearly by his family and if the impact with the car wasnt bad, he may have a chance to make it out alive at the hospital. the squirrel however is not so lucky. it will be left to die on the street or would have died on impact already with sadly no squirrel hospital to tend to it.

What does 1+1 equal? 2

Q: What's sad about seeing a dead twenty year old lying at the corner of a street with a beer bottle in his hand? A: He owed me twenty bucks.

Why did the man start crying? Because he lost his job.

What did the polar bear say to the penguin? Nothing because polar bears lived in the northern hemisphere and penguins lived in the southern. But if one is smuggled from north to south or vice-versa. The polar would growl and consume the penguin.

what do you call a cow? A cow

Why did the black homeowner default on his house? He was paying significantly more in mortgage than the actual market value of the home, since he purchased his property before the housing bubble. He carried out a cost/benefit analysis and derived the conclusion that he was effectively destroying his own wealth by paying his mortgage bills.

Why did the man get off the bus? Penis

Why did the Kek Kick Ben? Cause Ben kicked Kek's Kik. KEKEKEK

Knock-Knock. Who's there? The person knocking at your door.

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Adam said to God, "God, I need a companion." God replied, "OK Adam, but you need to give up a rib." Adam agreed and thus humanity was born.

What did the man say to his wife? We are both men. Apart from you.

Why do vampires suck the blood of their victims? Because blood is very nutritious and provides more iron for heamoglobin.

How many dead babies does it take to paint a house? Regardless of the number of dead babies present, painting a house will require at least one living baby.

Why was the black man eating a banana? Because bananas are an excellent source of potassium.

What is Justin Bieber + One less lonely girl. A BABY

What's black, white and red all over? A zebra carcass

A man walks into a 1980's style restaurant he takes a seat and orders his meal.

What do you get when you cross and unicorn with a loaf of bread? Cantaloupe

A mexican and a black guy are in a car. Who's driving? The chauffer, they are both rich business men.

What do you call two gay black men? Homosexuals.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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