Q: How does Lady Gaga like her meat? A: Exactly what her preference is.

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This guy dies and his wife gets him cremated. She takes the ashes home and lays them out on the table and starts talking to them. "You know that fur coat you promised me? I bought it with the insurance money. You know the new car you promised me? I bought it with the insurance money." Then she whispers, "You know that blowjob I promised you? Well, here it comes..."

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An Asian child flunks a test.

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You should periodically review the most up-to-date version of the Terms of Service. Oh you.

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Knock-Knock who's there? Artichoke Artichoke who? Your friend Artie choked on a ham sandwich, and I'm sorry to inform you that he didn't survive.

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Q: Why did the little girl upset? A: Because she was part of the human centipede

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A man walks into a bar. He leaves when he realizes he is supposed to be at a business meeting

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So I was making this glass of milk right? So I get the milk out. And I get the soup out.. then I go...wait a minute...where'd the glass of soup come into this glass of situations? *smile+awkard pause because nobody will laugh at this=Success of this anti joke...try it*

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Why did the disabled man fall of the swing, someone shot him.

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What's worse than getting a jigsaw puzzle for your birthday? Slavery

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What's brown and sticky? A penis.

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69

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Q. What language cant you speak A.Sign language

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Kanye West walks into a bar. As he is a very popular celebrity, he is recognized instantly. The patrons mob him, asking for pictures and autographs. He is in a pleasant humour that evening, so he indulges them. Some laughs are had, he buys lots of drinks, and takes home two beautiful women. Such is the life of a celebrity. ...but that still doesn't make him happy.

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How do you confuse a blonde? You ask her a question.

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I love you, you live me. Now get the FUDGE out of the tree!!!

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Why cant the white man dunk? Because he lost his legs in a horrible car accident

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Why was the black man eating a banana? Because bananas are an excellent source of potassium.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread

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Ask me if I'm a flower. Are you a flower? No.

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What did the redneck say to the Muslim? Nothing, he is too blinded by racial hatred and ignorance after terrorist attacks on the U.S to speak with him despite having common interests, such as baseball.

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Yo mamas so fat, that I need a new pair of sunglasses.

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Have you heard about the new German microwave? It's a great labour-saving appliance that cooks food much more quickly than a conventional oven

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Two guys walk into a bar. The third one ducks.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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