How do you fit 100 babies in a bucket? put them in a blender. How do you get them out? potato chips.

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Roses Are Red Violets Are Blue Bitches Like U Belong In The Zoo

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wat?

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A tiger walks into a bar. Clearly there is something wrong with animal control.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? What kind of society have we created that a chicken can't even cross a road without his motives being questioned?

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Roses are red Violets are blue (not really) I have Alzheimer's Cheese on toast

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Why did the President Truman approve the use a nuke over Hiroshima? Sending Chuck Norris was widely considered to be too cruel.

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In Soviet Russia, You drive the car, fill it up with gas and park it Just like in America

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What did the homeless child get for Christmas? Leukemia

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Two muffins are sitting in an oven. They are both eaten fifteen minutes later.

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How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? They sent her to her room without dinner.

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What makes Stephen Hawking such a lame scientist??? A: he has a disabling disease. It's called ALS.

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Q:What's red and fluffy? A: A blue rock, if blue were red and rocks were fluffy

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Roses are red violets are blue I hate rhyming pancakes

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I've got a joke for you. The people writing these jokes. Thats a joke.

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Yo mamma so fat, she probably has Type Two Diabetes - which is often associated with obesity - and should seek medical advice.

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What did the little boy with cancer say right before he died? Nothing. He was very sick and could not speak at all during his final weeks.

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An Englishman, and Irishman and a Scotsman are on a plane. The plan is carrying too much weight, and is destined to crash. They drop the luggage, but there is still too much weight on board. They drop the secondary engine, but there is still too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

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What's brown and sticky? Human excrement.

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What did the polar bear say to the penguin? Nothing because polar bears lived in the northern hemisphere and penguins lived in the southern. But if one is smuggled from north to south or vice-versa. The polar would growl and consume the penguin.

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It’s dead.

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What did the Muffin say to the other muffin ? I dont know

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I'm the rubber and you're the glue, whatever you say sends vibrations through the air that hit my eardrum and my brain interprets these vibrations as what your are saying.

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What's white and hides behind a tree? Shy milk.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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