There was a Mexican, a Chinese, and an American on a plane. The Mexican threw down a sack of beans, the Chinese threw down a sack of rice, and the American threw down a bomb. The plane landed. When the three passengers stepped out of the plane, they were hungry.

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What do you get when you cross some eggs and some toast? Breakfast.

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Q.Want to hear somthing that will never happen A. Sure A. the Houston Astros won a game.

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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Were can you find a bag of meth? A drug dealer

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Why did the blond play Russian roulette? She is very poor and needs the money so she can feed her son.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Whats the difference between a ham sandwich and a dead baby sandwich? I don't stomp on my ham sadnwiches with cleats before I eat them.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? - It was dead.

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BALL SO HARD... That I got kicked off the team for intentionally fouling other players whenever I got on the court, I'm sorry

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Why did the boy dress up as a zombie? Because it was Halloween.

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Get me a sandwich, bitch

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Why did nick and tyler visit anti-joke.com? Because they have nothing better to do.

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If a rooster lays a brown egg on the south side of an Asian man's roof, which way would I turn at the intersection? Folderol, because laundry has no soul.

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How many friends did Jeffery have? 0 because he ate them and put them in his fridge.

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What did the Muffin say to the other muffin ? I dont know

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In Soviet Russia, You drive the car, fill it up with gas and park it Just like in America

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knock knock whos there not me

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Q. Why can’t a teacher lift weights? A. Because, most teachers are women and most women do not enjoy It.

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Why did he buy ANTIJOKE THE BOOK! - ? Because he wanted to read it.

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Poop

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How many dead babies does it take to paint a house? Regardless of the number of dead babies present, painting a house will require at least one living baby.

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What's white and sticky? Glue.

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What's the difference between a monkey wrench and a snow cone? A lot.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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