Two men and a woman walk into a bar. They are all viciously murdered by a serial killer, who as he walks out, runs into a pole and suffers from a concussion, which he later dies from.

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wat?

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William and Kate do get off their ass and do something useful for once instead of hogging the cover of intouch magazine.

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Knock Knock Whos there? The police, we've been getting reports of many ironically named metaphors knocking on your door to which you reply witty utterances, can you explain this frankly quite disturbing behaviour? The police, we've been getting reports of many ironically named metaphors knocking on your door to which you reply witty utterances, can you explain this frankly quite disturbing behaviour who? Wait aren't you the one who's supposed to supposed tell the punchline? Oh Yeah

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Whats worse than having a woman faking an orgasm? Having a guy fake one.

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What do you get when you sunflower? Vegan turtles.

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What happens 2 seconds after you thorw a rock out a two-story window? The rock hits the ground.

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A black man, a Jew and a Hispanic man walk into a bar and the bartender says "Hello. What could I get for you?" The black man had a Manhattan. The Hispanic man had a Bloody Mary. The Jew merely had water, as his religion forbids alcohol. The trio enjoy their drinks and then exit the establishment.

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What's the difference between a duck A chair Vests have no sleeves

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Have you ever had Ethiopian food? It's a spicy sort of stew, you'd enjoy it.

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What's green and invisible? This cabbage

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What do you call a man with a bad haircut? A man with a bad haircut

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Roses are red Violets are red Oh god I'm bleeding It's getting in my eyes

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A Jew, a Christian and a Muslim walk into a bar. I don't know what happens next, I got the fuck out of there before shit went down

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Yo mamma so fat, she probably has Type Two Diabetes - which is often associated with obesity - and should seek medical advice.

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" So let's set the world on fire..." Q: How do you do that? A: Strike a match...

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A Mexican, and American, and a Chinese man are crossing the street. They all get hit by a car and die.

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obamas trench

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what's red and green and goes 100 mph? a red and green car going over the speed limit.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Why didn't Joe's toaster work anymore? Because he dropped it into the bathtub with him.

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What's white and hides behind a tree? Shy milk.

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Q: Why can't Elvis Presley drive a car backwards? A: Because he's dead.

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An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar. They have trouble understanding each other.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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