What's the difference between a hooker and an onion? The hooker is a human being whereas the onion is a vegetable.

What has 142 teeth and can hold back the hulk? My zipper.

Why did hale say I have but one life to give for my country? He has one life

Why did the boy eat the potato? I don't know. Neather do I. :(

Why does Brianne cry? Because she has no family.

Why did the blonde buy a hotdog? She didn't. She has chronic anorexia.

Why did the chicken cross the road? What kind of society have we created that a chicken can't even cross a road without his motives being questioned?

Why did the Kek Kick Ben? Cause Ben kicked Kek's Kik. KEKEKEK

what's red and green and goes 100 mph? a red and green car going over the speed limit.

ive got a joke for you Nicki minajs ase

One white male lives in a city with all blacks. He puts up with gang violence nearly every day.

Why did the chicken cross the road? I have not seen chicken since I was very young, on my parents' farm. This is before the Cossacks slaughtered them. I can still hear screams of sister as soldiers ravaged her. But back to question, where did you see chicken? I am very, very hungry.

Q: Why can't Elvis Presley drive a car backwards? A: Because he's dead.

Why did Charlie Sheen laugh at the TV? Because there happened to be a comedy on.

Why didn't the boy get any presents for christmas? There is no Santa Claus.

What do you call a man with a bad haircut? A man with a bad haircut

A man walks into a bar, has a few drinks and spots a nice looking lady He then follows her home and molestes her child.

Q: What is your name? A: I don't know.

In Soviet Russia, You drive the car, fill it up with gas and park it Just like in America

Yo mama is so hairy, because she's arab.

What's the worst part about seeing a dead baby on the beach? The crushing sadness.

What do you get when you cross some eggs and some toast? Breakfast.

Grandma walked into the kitchen...

A cruise ship took sail. It was about a mile out into the water already. The blonde had missed the ship when it set sail. She was only capable of swimming a mile. She swam a half a mile out after the ship, and then turned around. She then later died due to a severe case of hypothermia due to the temperatures of the water for long periods of time.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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