A man walks into a 1980's style restaurant he takes a seat and orders his meal.

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A man is in a bar with a drink A lorry driver come in a gulp the guys drink down The man starts crying the lorry driver says"don't cry I will buy you another" The guy says "it's not that: Today I woke up late for work and when I finally got there my boss fired me so I get in my car to go home and it wont start so I walk home while it's raining and when I got in I found that my wife was sleeping with the gardener so I came down here and asked for some poison and you went and drank it"

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Tell somebody that someone told you they look like an owl. When they say "Who?" laugh in their face

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I saw a man one day i saw him the next day and the next and the next i didn't see him ever again

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How do you call blond girl with no arms and no legs ? A victim of a tragic car accident.

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What did the Muffin say to the other muffin ? I dont know

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's a woman.

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Wanna hear a dirty joke? If so, you're probably a pervert.

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I've got a joke for you. The people writing these jokes. Thats a joke.

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Why did the girl suck the other guy off? to get paid

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What is a pirate's favorite kind of pizza? Cheese.

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Knock Knock Who's there? It's me Ok, come in (the knockers voice was familiar enough that giving a name would have been out of place)

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Why did the man fall off the swing? he got hit in the back of the head with a shovel.

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Who let the dogs out? The pet shop.

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Q: What do you do if you find your tv floating at night? A: Yell "DROP IT NIGGAH!" Q: What do you do if you find your tv floating in the day time? A: Run away cause your house is haunted.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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What is worse than the Holocaust? a Michael Bay movie

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A man goes to his drug dealer to buy Meth, there is no joke here, he is addicted to meth.

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A Brunette walks in to the docters office and says" Docter it hurts when i poke my self." She then pokes her arm and screams in agony. Then She pokes her leg and screams in agony. The Docter says "Are you really a brunette'' She replys "no im a Blonde." Docter says " oh then you have broken your finger"

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Jim: Can you shoot a basketball with one hand? Moe: There's no such thing as a basketball with one hand.

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ALL OF YOU NO MORE CURSING EVEN THOUGH ITS NOT POSSABLE SO DON'T LISTEN

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My mumma your mumma live down the street 18,19 marble street out came you and out came me but then your mumma died from her pee

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If file gives you melons, you might be dyslexic

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got a new boxing bag the other day its hanging from the top of my stairs its called dead seb

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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