What did the old lady say when she went to a restaurant? OH look at the price of this salad.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What has 142 teeth and can hold back the hulk? My zipper.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Yo mommas so fat they had to change 'one size fits all' to 'one size fits most'

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What does a tree and a human have in common? They both fall if you chop them with an axe.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

ive got a joke for you Nicki minajs ase

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Hello penis

thumb_up thumb_down -32

What do you Call L.L. Cool J's mexican cousin? El El Bean

thumb_up thumb_down -60

ALL OF YOU NO MORE CURSING EVEN THOUGH ITS NOT POSSABLE SO DON'T LISTEN

thumb_up thumb_down -66

What did one muffin say to the other muffin? Nothing, muffins are inanimate objects and can therefore not speak.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

national song of the mute person? 5 minutes of silence please

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What has wheels and spins round and round? A dog in a wheelchair.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did the road cross the chicken? Because Einstein said so. According to Einstein's Theory of Special Relativity, if you and the chicken were to cross the road simultaneously, your perspective, relative to the chicken, would remain unchanged. Therefore, the road would appear to move underneath the chicken, which would seem to be performing some style of polka dance.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why did the man start crying? Because he lost his job.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

LeBron James hits a game winning three with time running out in the Finals.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

why did the black guy win a gold medal in the olympics? hard work, dedication and determanation! what no one else can be bothered to do anymore because of all this new technology and stuff!! get of your arse and do something active. NOW!

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Knock knock Who's There? Idk, who the **** names their kid There?

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What did the Muffin say to the other muffin ? I dont know

thumb_up thumb_down -19

your momma is so poor she had you just for the free milk

thumb_up thumb_down -43

My mumma your mumma live down the street 18,19 marble street out came you and out came me but then your mumma died from her pee

thumb_up thumb_down +142

What's the animal that eats with its tail? All of them, since they won't take it off when they get to eat.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

What Does Alex J Simpsons Face have in Common with his hand? Spaghetti

thumb_up thumb_down +12

A cruise ship took sail. It was about a mile out into the water already. The blonde had missed the ship when it set sail. She was only capable of swimming a mile. She swam a half a mile out after the ship, and then turned around. She then later died due to a severe case of hypothermia due to the temperatures of the water for long periods of time.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Roses are grey, Violets are grey, I'm color blind.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops