Paul and Steve, Siamese twins attached at the head, come to a fork in the road they are traveling. Paul wants to go left, while Steve wants to go right. They pause for a moment to figure out which direction would be the best choice for the both of them. They decide to go Paul's way, and as they continue to travel in silence, they try to imagine what life as a self-reliant individual would be like.

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What is a person who can hold there breath for an hour? Dead

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What's worse than finding a worm in your Apple? Ebola

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whats the difference between 100 dead babies and a ferrari? the ferrari is not in my garage.

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knock knock who's there? a murderer. a murderer who? a murderer who kills you and your family.

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I haven't made a school shooting joke yet, but the day is young Just like those kids that got shot

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What do you call a joke with no punchline?

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Twenty-Four

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, You were adopted and I couldn't think of a good way to tell you...

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What do you call a black guy driving a bus? A bus driver

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How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? Why does it matter, they can't chuck wood in the first place.

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roses are red violets are blue i suck at poems show me your boobs

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Little Jimmy has 100 candy bars, and he eats 95 of them. What dies little Jimmy have? Diabetes

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A black man walks into a bar and is proptly told to leave. He proceeds to sue the bar owner, then buys the bar and turns it into a community center that helps at risk children.

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? At age two, she contracted an illness that left her blind, deaf, unable to speak, and was considered backwards of intelligence. She lived in a dark and hopeless world of her own, rendering her unable to do anything, let alone drive.

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Ask if I'm a aardvark. Are you a aardvark? Yes.

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Where did the watch-dog take the blind man on Saturday afternoon? Wherever the blind man wanted to go

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Why couldn't little Johnny play sports like the rest of the kids? He was diagnosed with polio at the age of 3 and has limited use of his legs.

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I just farted, and now I have to Chit!

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I'm Donald Trump! Wump wump wump! I won the battle but lost the war: I'm Donald Trump!

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What is the difference between a black man and a park bench? A park bench is an inanimate object whereas a black man is a human being with rights.

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Knock Knock Whos there? Jonny Jonny who? Jonny tsunami, hope you can swim Japan

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i like pie.

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What is yellow and has thick, shiny fur? A banana. I lied about the fur.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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