As Vanilla Ice once said, "If there's a problem ill resolve it."

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Why can't Helen Keller Drive? Because she's a woman.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

So a white president,a mexican president, and a black president,are on a plane and its going down. The white president wishes he was a dove, and he flies away to safety. Then the mexican president wishes he was an eagle and he flies away to safety. Then the black president falls out the plane and says o s**t and turns into poop.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

why did the chicken cross the road? becasue he wanted to. also he didnt want to be involved in the holocost

thumb_up thumb_down -28

a man walks into a bar, and says "can i get a beer please?" the bartender hands him his beer, and as soon as the man starts to take a drink, the man dies of a massive heart attack because of his unhealthy lifestyle

thumb_up thumb_down -28

What did winter say to summer? Nothing. Seasons are physically incapable of speaking because they are not living things. They are simply an idea made by humans to explain why the weather changes as the sun spins around the earth.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

What do Jack the Ripper and Winnie the Pooh have in common? They have the same middle name.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

A zucchini is walking down the street, when he spots a cucumber club on his left hand side. Having nothing else to do he decides to walk in. When he walks into the club all of the cucumbers stop and stare at this strange being in their club. Finally, after having one too many drinks, one cucumber decides that this ridiculousness has gone on long enough and it is up to him to say something, so he goes up to the zucchini and says, "Hey buddy, what's your problem, clearly you are in a cucumber club and you're a zucchini." The zucchini just looks at him, puzzled, and responds " A cucumber club? I thought this was a ucumber club!!!!!"... It's funny because zucchinis are dyslexic.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

why did the walrus sex with the jew because 911 created a sexual falafel

thumb_up thumb_down -32

what do you call three kkk guys in your house ghost busters

thumb_up thumb_down -34

a girl and a guy rented a hotel room for a night. theyre siblings and stayed up all night watching very classy movies about farm animals and each of them ordered a chocolate cake to eat while watching their fantastic informational film.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Why Did The Black Guy Eat Watermelon? Because he lives in south africa where they are commonly grown and needed a healthy snack.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

What happens when you mix a black guy and a chinese guy. A disfigured man

thumb_up thumb_down -36

What is 2 + 2? 3 LOL

thumb_up thumb_down -36

Roses are red... Violets are blue... Unless your colour blind.

thumb_up thumb_down -38

Q:What's the difference between a turtle and a cat? A: One's a turtle and the other is a cat....

thumb_up thumb_down -40

Now that I'm of age to go clubbing, I feel sorry for the seals.

thumb_up thumb_down -40

DONT READ THIS. YOU WILL BE KISSED ON THE NEAREST POSSIBLE FRIDAY BYrnTHE LOVE OF YOUR LIFE.TOMMOROW WILL BE THE BEST DAY OF YOUR LIFE. NOWrnYOU'VE STARTED READING THIS. DON'T STOP. THIS IS SO FREAKY.rn1. say your name ten times.rn2.say your mom's name five times.rn3. say your crushes three timesrn4. paste this to four other groups.rnIf you do this, your crush will kiss you on the nearest Friday.rnBut if you read this and do not paste this, then yournwill have very bad luck.rnSEND THIS TO 5 GROUPS IN 143 MINUTES. WHENrnYOU'RE DONE PRESS F6 AND YOUR CRUSH'S NAME WILL APPEAR IN BIG LETTERSrnON THE SCREEN. THIS IS SO FREAKY BECAUSE IT ACTUALLY WORKSrnrnrn

thumb_up thumb_down -40

What is the answer to the question of Life, the Universe and Everything? That doesn't make any sense.

thumb_up thumb_down -40

A man walks into a bar. His alcohol dependency is tearing his family apart.

thumb_up thumb_down -44

"Happy Father's Day!" said the little boy to the old man. The old man broke out in tears because he had always wanted to be a father.

thumb_up thumb_down -46

Knock knock Who's there? Honey, just let me in. This bloody game can't go on for an hour. I'm cold out here.

thumb_up thumb_down -48

Your mom is so fat, that when she went to the doctor, the doctor told her she had Type II Diabetes.

thumb_up thumb_down +63

Roses are red, Violets are red, Trees are red, Bushes are red, HOLY SHIT MY GARDEN'S ON FIRE!

thumb_up thumb_down +61

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops