A man walks in on his wife blowing Bubbles. Two weeks later they are divorced.

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The biggest lie ever. "I do" -Kim Kardashian

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What rhymes with bigger and can jump really high? Tigger

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A biology teacher walks into a bar. "Ouch," he says. "I bet I just lost some brain cells. I wonder if any of them were going through mitosis..."

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why does jake have so many guns? hes compensating

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An apple a day keeps a check next to the "I ate an apple today" box on my "what I did today" daily checklist.

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A man walked into a bar. He broke his nose.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, most chickens are held on farms, but those that do roam free are afraid of automobiles so therefore they wouldn't go near a road at all. But if the chicken was located in a deserted town there would be no traffic, so then it would be able to cross freely over any road there and not get injured or mortally wounded.

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Gladly, you sound very confident, makes me happy. Well, doctors thought I had ADHD (go figure) but I am pretty calm outside the internet, then they went with ADD, but since my attention is twofold, this meaning that I can get a lecture, while noticing a toothpick falling on the other side of the room (noticing as in perceiving with focus not necessarily listening but you know, seeing from the corner of ones eye) Yet still focus well enough to get the lecture in details. So its not split focus such as in ADD, but dual, as in me being able to think about two things at once, but also burning out extremely fast, which again, is far from ADD.

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What is 0% sugar, 100% pure, 150% hyperbole, 90% bug-free, has 4815162342 lines of code, autonomous, is awesome, bigger than a breadbox, bread is pain, is bringin' home the bacon, classy, doesn't use the U-word, deja vu, deja vu (oh wait a moment), does barrel rolls doesn't avoid double negatives, doesn't bother with clones, Engage!, Enhanced!, Euclidean!, Excitement!, Exploding creepers, Finally complete!, finger-licking, full of stars, funky LOL, GOTY, Give Us Gordon, Indev, Ingots, and has an End? Minecraft!

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a dinosaur with a large clown hat is walking down the street when he is confronted by an obese monkey human with red hair. I set this up for a good pun, but the one i have is potatoes.

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There were once three bears who lived in a cottage in the forest. They left to go to the market one day. While they were gone a blonde girl walked into their cabin. Meanwhile at the market, everyone was freaking out that there were bears there.

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What is brown and sticky? A stick

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A Mexican, an Italian and an American all walk into a bar. They order their drinks and have pleasant conversation, and all return home to loving families safely and securely.

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Knock Knock trick or treats? here is the candies, have fun kids!

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Five men walk into a bar. The bartender says, more taste or less? None of them care.

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Chad Wolbert is retarded.

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What did the kid say when he fell of a cliff and met Tom jones? Hi

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-What's the worst part about killing a baby? -Probably either recieving the death sentence or living psychologically scarred in prison for life.

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Knock, Knock. Who's there? Your family is dead. Your family is dead, who? Your family is dead.

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What did one Lacrosse player say to the other? Let's touch shafts

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whats the difference between a flamingo ? because the pyramid has a high cholesterol

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your momma is so stupid it took her 2 hours to watch 60 minutes

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Why did the skeleton stay home from the party He was buried in a coffin underground and, as a matter of fact, wasn't actually invited

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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