How do you wake up lady gaga? Poke her face

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What's better than being in the special olympics? Not being retarded.

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What happened when the little girl said Bloody Mary 3 times in the dark? - She got her head smashed in the mirror, all of her intestines were neatly ripped out and was stabbed to death with No.2 mechanical pencils. Then her parents came home from dinner to find their daughter brutally killed in her own room. They notified police, opened a case and gave up after 12 years of searching for her killer. Both parents cried for the amount of years their daughter had been gone and they both decided to kill each other. The father raped the mom while slitting the back of her neck that led to her head being detached. Then the father left his pick up truck running and through his head toward the engine, which didn't really work. So he went back inside and watched Three and A Half Men.

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A muslim walks pass a bomb shop on his way to the international peace club.

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Why do women wear perfume and makeup? Because they smell bad and are ugly.

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so i walk into a bar the bartender says what do you want i say a beer please he then goes one dear coming up soi thought tomy self should i tell him what i really said so i let him get the dear but for some reason he came out with tears i asked whats a matter he said you let me go to kill a dear

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A woman walks into the bathroom and hears the sound of moaning. Not sure what to do she looks around and sees couples as far as the eye can see. She quickly turns to the woman and man standing next to her and asks what is going on here?! The woman says can't you read this is not a bathroom this is a public sex room! Only an idiot would ask that question. In shock the woman takes another look around and she spots someone she finds familiar. When she walks closer she finds that it is her boyfriend and that he is with another woman. Furious she walks up to him and slaps him in the face. The boyfriend looks at her and says sorry your sex just got old. Furious she says to him we never had sex!

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What's a ghost's favourite country? Fraaaaance.

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What happens when you drop the soap in Prison? You pick it back up and go about your business.

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What happend to the boy with no family? he died in a tragic car accident along with his family

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What do you call a bird with no wings? Dead

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why did the monkey fall out of the tree? it was dead why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? it was stapled to the monkey

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1 + 1 = 11 Just kidding, it's 2 you moron.

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An Asian Man Has His Eyes Wide Open

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Why did sally fall off the swing? she had no arms of legs. Knock Knock Whos there? Not sally.

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knock knock who's there i lost my wallet my nan died

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What happens when you yell at people who have high blood pressure? They might get heart attacks & die.

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roses are head mydick is blue i live in somolia and i killed all the jews

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How many retarded mexicans can you fit in a smart car? Two.

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A choir boy is hit by a car outside church. Someone runs to him and says "shall I fetch the priest?" The boy starts to mumble something but quickly loses consciousness, and later dies after 16 hours in ICU.

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How do you make time fly? You throw a clock out a window.

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What do Michael Jackson and your family have in common? They're both dead.

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yo mama is so fat even dora cant explore her

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a man walked into a bar.... when i say bar i mean a metal pole, the man suffered from concussion

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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