What did the kid with no arms get for christmas? No one knows he hasn't been able to open his presents yet.

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What did one hater say to the other hater? I hate you.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The screams were loud. It was just one big fire behind him. He and his fellow chickens had been trapped. They thought they were being freed... They thought wrong. The guards herded them in and then the heat started. The fires began to rage. His friends, his allies, his brothers, were falling dead, burning, beside him. He had to escape. He did not think, only acted. Lashing out at the guard, he knocked him down and ran. He ran and ran until he could run no more, and he still kept running. He could still hear his brothers' screams. He could still see their faces burning before his eyes. He reached the road, and finally stopped. He looked around. The screams had stopped. The heat had left his body. But then another sound came. Yelling. The guards. They were following him. He tried to keep running. But he just couldn't. He was finished. He fell on the road, sliding himself along as quickly as he could. He hadn't run this far to be caught by the guards. He stopped. He could go no further. He looked up and saw the blue sky, cloudless and free. The last thing he heard was a roaring engine. The guards never found his body.

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What did one pile of dirt say to the other pile of dirt?? You're dirty

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Yo mama's so fat, that when she jumped, gravity pushed her back to the floor!

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Whats the difference imbetween a watermelon and a baby? One is fun to hit with a sledge hammer an the other is a watermelon

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How did the snail travel around the world without any help from a transportation device? Sadly, it didn't. The snail is incapable of this kind of long distance travel due to it's small size, lack of speed and short lifespan.

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If a vegetarian only eats vegetables, then what does a humanitarian eat?

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What is more dangerous than heroine? T.J. Lane

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Why did thw chicken cross the road? Because his parents died.

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Q. Why did the woman fall out of the tree? A. Cause she got laid

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What's larger than a grandmother clock? Plenty of things.

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What's green,has 4 legs and lives in a tree? A pool table

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Why did kurt cobain kill himself? He was experiencing heavy depression

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EGGPLANT

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Q: Why did the boy go to the orphanage? A: His parents were dead.

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What did the black man say when he ate a Hershey bar? Delicious

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What's black and blue and hates anal? The twelve year old in my trunk

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whats worse than getting no gifts for christmas? getting hit by a bus for christmas

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Every time im sad, I think of a T-Rex trying to put on a hat.

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What would the funeral home do without a dead person? Wait until the next appiontment

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What's red and hurts your teeth. Answer: a brick

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What's worse, a dog dying or cancer? The Holocaust.

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Q: Why is the earth round? A: I am Batman.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops