What's worse than opening your pantry door and finding nothing desirable to eat? Repeated high voltage electrical shocks to the anus.

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What do you get when you cross a turtle and a kangaroo? A hybrid combination of the two that is characterized by specific traits of both animals.

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Why did the bus crash? What, you were expecting an answer? I was asking you

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What did the apple tree say to the farmer? "Stop picking on me"

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What did the sign say at Disney World? Disney World.

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Your momma is so old that she might die soon!

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--"Do you like impressions?" -Yeah! --"Why?" ................... --"That was Socr-ates."

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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You're*

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What's red and smells like cherries. Cherries

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What kind of car does Yoda drive? Nothing, Yoda doesn't exist.

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What's black, blue and smells like fish? A dead penguin.

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An iman, a rabbi and a priest walk into a bar. It's not the same bar. They feel uncomfortable mixing together and this makes me sad.

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What do you call a dinosaur that wears a cowboy hat and boots? It depends on what his name is.

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The Christian prayed every night to God for a new bike. He kept it up for a year. Finally, he got a bike for his birthday.

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A man walks into a bar Then another man shoots him in the head because he has anger issues.

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Have you ever listened to the smell of the color 9? It tastes like freedom!

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "Why the long face?" The horse does not respond because it is a horse, thus lacking cognitive capacity to speak nor understand English. It is confused by its surroundings and promptly defecates on the floor then gallops out of the bar, knocking over a few chairs and tables.

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Q Why did the man run away from his shadow? A He didn't it was physicaly impossible.

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Womens' Rights

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What do you call a man in a wheel chair? Stephen Hawking

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What do you call a person who uses food stamps? Poor. What do you call a black person who uses food stamps? Still poor.

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roses are red violets are blue my cat died and i have alsheimers who are you

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How do you make a frog stand still? Shoot it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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