What did one pile of dirt say to the other pile of dirt?? You're dirty

Yo mama's so fat, that when she jumped, gravity pushed her back to the floor!

Why did the chicken cross the road? The screams were loud. It was just one big fire behind him. He and his fellow chickens had been trapped. They thought they were being freed... They thought wrong. The guards herded them in and then the heat started. The fires began to rage. His friends, his allies, his brothers, were falling dead, burning, beside him. He had to escape. He did not think, only acted. Lashing out at the guard, he knocked him down and ran. He ran and ran until he could run no more, and he still kept running. He could still hear his brothers' screams. He could still see their faces burning before his eyes. He reached the road, and finally stopped. He looked around. The screams had stopped. The heat had left his body. But then another sound came. Yelling. The guards. They were following him. He tried to keep running. But he just couldn't. He was finished. He fell on the road, sliding himself along as quickly as he could. He hadn't run this far to be caught by the guards. He stopped. He could go no further. He looked up and saw the blue sky, cloudless and free. The last thing he heard was a roaring engine. The guards never found his body.

What's green,has 4 legs and lives in a tree? A pool table

Q: Why did the boy go to the orphanage? A: His parents were dead.

Why did kurt cobain kill himself? He was experiencing heavy depression

EGGPLANT

A person expresses their opinion online. Another person thanks them for sharing their opinion but kindly disagrees, then he wishes the other person to have a good day.

Q: What did Yoda do at the end of star wars when he lost his light saber? A: He asked the prop guy if he had any more and he happened to have another and they went on with making the great film many still love today.

How many jews can you fit into a car? 2 in the front, 2 in the back, and a thousand in the ash tray.

What does a camel wear at war? Camelflage

Joe: Hey, why are your counters all red and your blender looks broken? Me: The same reason why Mrs. Johnson's baby is missing. ajl

A man walks into a crowded bar and orders a beer. The bartender doesn't hear him due to the background noise of everyone talking and the man has to repeat his order.

You know what they say about a guy with big feet? He wears large socks and has big shoes.

Why did the boy not turn in his homework? Because his pet ate it.

Why was the women out of the kitchen? She felt the desire to relax after a day of work...

What's the difference between a black guy and a piece of chicken? They were once both alive and innocent. I lied about the black guy.

Why do guys love to wrestle? They like to have physical contact with other men.

Why did Susan fall out a tree? She had no arms. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Susan

Why are children like books? They are highly flammable if covered in gasoline.

Homosexuals are gay.

A Christian walks in into a bar . . . mitzvah.

Knock, knock No, I do not want to hear about God.

John Stamos.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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