Why did the man name his son David? He didn't. It was his wife's choice.

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What do you call it when a black man and a japanese woman get married? A wedding.

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Why does Mario wear coveralls? Because it makes practical sense for his full time job as a plumber.

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Knock knock (Knock knock...) (Knock knock...) (Knock knock...) (Knock knock...) (Knock knock...) Fuck me, that's the most echo-y door I've ever knocked on.

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What did the boy with no eyes get for Christmas? Glasses

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What the small boy with no arms or legs get fro christmas???? cancer

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side of the road because apparently their was something on the other side that appealed to the chicken. It was probably your mom.

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How much cocaine did Charlie Sheen do? Enough to end the lives of two male individuals and paralyze the the third male individual from the hip down.

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Why'd the girl fall of her scooter? She fell into a hole and died. She was never found again. All that was left was her scooter.

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Justin Bieber's Never Say Never 3D came out the other day. I went to see it, and it was a pretty good movie.

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Your mother is so fat that when she jumps into a pool, she displaces a proportionately larger amount of water than people with normal body mass indexes or BMI

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What did the skeleton say when he was horny? Nothing. Skeletons are not living and therefore cannot be horny.

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Why did the blonde become a cannibal? Because she got hungry.

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Why do you touch yourself at night? Because I do too

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Lebron James in the 4th quarter.

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What did Jesus REAREAREAREVENAGNCEREALLY SAY when he was walkin on da waterz? And I bless this object which shalth now be known as the surfboard, Amen. Seriously, im a Christian, that sounds kinda cute in a weird way... Like aww, thats why he walked on water, not because of terrifying super powers.

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A momma cow was grazing in the meadow with her three calves when the first one asked, "Mom, how did I get the name Rose? "Well when you were born, a rose pedal came floating in the breeze and landed on your head." The second calf asked, "How did I get the name Daisy?" "Well when you were born, a daisy came floating in the breeze and landed on your head." The third calf mumbled, "LKJLSKJFSLKJLKSJDF" incoherently, and the Mom responded, "Shut up, Cinderblock."

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What is black and is good at stealing stuff? a ninja.

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Why didn't the pro-choice, pregnant woman have an abortion? It was a planned pregnancy.

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Waht do chinease people and gambling machines have in common? They both say chink chink chink chink chink chinck

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender does not ask about its facial characteristics, because he is wondering why there is a horse standing in his bar.

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When I get aroused I get a solid snake

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What did the black man say to the white man? Hi im phill

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Why couldn't the basketball player jump anymore? Because he broke his back.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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