selena gomez & justin beiber go in space. selena says im hotter than the sun. the way she knows this information is that she is near the sun at this time justin beiber has already drifted of in space.

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A zebra dies and goes to animal heaven. All the animals around him are trotting, flying, jumping, each according to its own species, in the kind of bliss that only eternity can bring. But the zebra is not impressed and mopes through heaven's green fields. A giraffe notices his languid stupor and asks, "Why so glum, pal?" The zebra mournfully replies, "All my life I've wondered if I was black with white stripes or white with black stripes." The giraffe, hoping to get the zebra to some answers as quickly as possible, suggests, "Why not go as God?" The zebra, somewhat taken aback by the notion that God might give him an audience, replies, "Oh, I can do that?" The giraffe says, "Sure, I'll show you the way!" The giraffe leads the zebra to a great tabernacle of gold and points the way up a long stairway of diamond. The zebra follows the stairs up to two great ivory doors. But no matter what he tried, the zebra couldn't get the door open. The only animals that could open the door for him would be the primates because of their opposable digits, but the zebra wasn't much of a social animal, so he didn't have any friends. He spent eternity with no answer to his question.

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Q: Who wants a chick with big breasts? A: Everyone apparently, because chickens are being genetically engineered that way because people are racist about what part of the chicken then want to eat. The white meat or the dark meat. Guess what? Now they can't walk because they are top heavy. And who's fault is that? The people who only eat the white meat.

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Your mama is so fat she suffered from diabetes and died of heart failure .

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How do u kill a mocking bird ? Stab it

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What's the difference between a plumber and a husband? Both fuck the same women when the other is away.

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What do you call an Arab on an airplane? A passenger.

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Why did the pedophil go to church? To rape small children.

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What is red and has seven dents? Snow White's Cherry.

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Why did the man shoot himself Because he was black

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Why did sally fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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Why couldn't the blond turn the TV on? Because she is blond.

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what is big, white, and can't climb a tree? a fridge

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm bipolar NO I'M NOT!!

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How do you fit four gays on a barstool? You turn it upside down

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Whats worse then world war 3 world war 4

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A man walks into a bar and says "I'd like a beer."

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Roses are red Violets are blue Vodka is less Than dinner for two

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So a white president,a mexican president, and a black president,are on a plane and its going down. The white president wishes he was a dove, and he flies away to safety. Then the mexican president wishes he was an eagle and he flies away to safety. Then the black president falls out the plane and says o s**t and turns into poop.

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Why Did The Chicken Cross The Road To Get To The Other Side

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why did Sally fall of the swing....she had no arms. knock knock who's there? NOT Sally.....

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Why did the black guy hit his head while walking through a doorway? Because he was tall.

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What's worse then 1 bee sting? -2 Bee stings. What's worse then 2 bee stings? -The Holocaust. What's worse then the Holocaust? -3 Bee stings.

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Whats the worst part of Chemotharapy? The Cancer.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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