A zebra dies and goes to animal heaven. All the animals around him are trotting, flying, jumping, each according to its own species, in the kind of bliss that only eternity can bring. But the zebra is not impressed and mopes through heaven's green fields. A giraffe notices his languid stupor and asks, "Why so glum, pal?" The zebra mournfully replies, "All my life I've wondered if I was black with white stripes or white with black stripes." The giraffe, hoping to get the zebra to some answers as quickly as possible, suggests, "Why not go as God?" The zebra, somewhat taken aback by the notion that God might give him an audience, replies, "Oh, I can do that?" The giraffe says, "Sure, I'll show you the way!" The giraffe leads the zebra to a great tabernacle of gold and points the way up a long stairway of diamond. The zebra follows the stairs up to two great ivory doors. But no matter what he tried, the zebra couldn't get the door open. The only animals that could open the door for him would be the primates because of their opposable digits, but the zebra wasn't much of a social animal, so he didn't have any friends. He spent eternity with no answer to his question.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Chuck Norris was once approached by a woman for whom he had to fight a man to obtain. Chuck promptly declined for he is married and told the man he only fights for self-defense.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

If an illegal immigrant fought a child molester, is it Alien vs. Predator?

thumb_up thumb_down -15

hi

thumb_up thumb_down -15

One watermelon said the the other watermelon, "you are looking mighty plump today", the other watermelon didn't say anything because watermelons cant talk

thumb_up thumb_down -15

"bluar blah blah blarRR/ the stupid pointless part" dead people/ animals/ objects can't talk/ drive/ operate compueter, lol I'm so focken funni

thumb_up thumb_down -15

how do you make a plumber cry? you kill his family

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What did the duck wear to go swimming? A bathingsuit!

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Black people are ugly. They should not live in this world. They are apes. They should live as apes not humans. Why do they have ugly curly hair, fat lips, and a big flat nose? SO UGLY!! EWW

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why did the pedophil go to church? To rape small children.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What do you call an Arab on an airplane? A passenger.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Why did the man shoot himself Because he was black

thumb_up thumb_down -17

A black man and a white man enter a public toilet. They both begin to pee at the urinals. The whiteman peers over to the blackman mid-pee. He is dissappointed to find that the black man's penis is not large according to stereotype and then blushes embarassed by his own latent homosexuality. They both leave the toilet and never see eachother again. The white man cries himself to sleep later that night. 'I've been hiding too long' he thinks.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Your mama is so fat she suffered from diabetes and died of heart failure .

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What's the difference between a plumber and a husband? Both fuck the same women when the other is away.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Congress back then: No sooner had I ended this prayer than a pederast farted on my right. "Hah! a good omen," said I, and prostrated myself; then I burst open the door by a vigorous push with my arse, and, opening my mouth to the utmost, shouted, "Senators, I wanted you to be the first to hear the good news; since the war broke out, I have never seen anchovies at a lower price!"

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Why do women wear deodorant and makeup? Because they're ugly and they stink.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

How do u kill a mocking bird ? Stab it

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What is red and has seven dents? Snow White's Cherry.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Why couldn't the blond turn the TV on? Because she is blond.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Whats the worst part of Chemotharapy? The Cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Roses are red Violets are blue I'm bipolar NO I'M NOT!!

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What's worse then 1 bee sting? -2 Bee stings. What's worse then 2 bee stings? -The Holocaust. What's worse then the Holocaust? -3 Bee stings.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What is the worst part about being a blonde? Random green painted strangers throw forks at you claiming it will confuse you, because they got it off of an anti joke website!

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops