Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

Why was the boy stuck? He's under a tree.

What happened when the kid tried to hang himself? He was overweight, so the ceiling fan that the rope was tied to fell out of the ceiling. When he explained this to his drunk mother when she got home, she reinforced the fact that he was overweight (his low self esteem was the root of his depression) and beat him. The next day, he just chugged antifreeze. This isn't a true story. Just calm down.

Whats faster that a Mexican with your TV? A speeding bullet.

What do you call somebody from Manchester? A twat

How do you stop a black guy from drowning? Take your foot off his head.

i heard something so funny it made me crap my pants you were a mistake

What's a fat chinaman? A guy who somehow got obese on rice. HOW DOES THAT HAPPEN?!

What do you get when you mix a panda,oklahoma,and a handle? The oklahoma panhandle.

Whats black and white, and red all over? A Zebra being slaughtered.

.....'',;;::cccllllllllllllcccc:::;;,,,''...'',,'.. ..';cldkO00KXNNNNXXXKK000OOkkkkkxxxxxddoooddddddxxxxkkkkOO0XXKx:. .':ok0KXXXNXK0kxolc:;;,,,,,,,,,,,;;,,,''''''',,''.. .'lOXKd' .,lx00Oxl:,'............''''''................... ...,;;'. .oKXd. .ckKKkc'...'',:::;,'.........'',;;::::;,'..........'',;;;,'.. .';;'. 'kNKc. .:kXXk:. .. .................. .............,:c:'...;:'. .dNNx. :0NKd, .....''',,,,''.. ',...........',,,'',,::,...,,. .dNNx. .xXd. .:;'.. ..,' .;,. ...,,'';;'. ... .oNNo .0K. .;. ;' '; .'...'. .oXX: .oNO. . ,. . ..',::ccc:;,.. .. lXX: .dNX: ...... ;. 'cxOKK0OXWWWWWWWNX0kc. :KXd. .l0N0; ;d0KKKKKXK0ko:... .l0X0xc,...lXWWWWWWWWKO0Kx' ,ONKo. .lKNKl...'......'. .dXWN0kkk0NWWWWWN0o. :KN0;. .,cokXWWNNNNWNKkxONK: .,:c:. .';;;;:lk0XXx; :KN0l';ll:'. .,:lodxxkO00KXNWWWX000k. oXNx;:okKX0kdl:::;'',;coxkkd, ...'. ...'''.......',:lxKO:. oNNk,;c,'',. ...;xNNOc,. ,d0X0xc,. .dOd, ..;dOKXK00000Ox:. ..''dKO, 'KW0,:,.,:..,oxkkkdl;'. 'KK' .. .dXX0o:'....,:oOXNN0d;.'. ..,lOKd. .. ;KXl. ;XNd,; ;. l00kxoooxKXKx:..ld: ;KK' .:dkO000000Okxl;. c0; :KK; . ;XXc 'XXdc. :. .. '' 'kNNNKKKk, .,dKNO. .... .'c0NO' :X0. ,. xN0. .kNOc' ,. .00. ..''... .l0X0d;. 'dOkxo;... .;okKXK0KNXx;. .0X: ,. lNX' ,KKdl .c, .dNK, .;xXWKc. .;:coOXO,,'....... .,lx0XXOo;...oNWNXKk:.'KX; ' dNX. :XXkc'.... .dNWXl .';l0NXNKl. ,lxkkkxo' .cK0. ..;lx0XNX0xc. ,0Nx'.','.kXo ., ,KNx. cXXd,,;:, .oXWNNKo' .'.. .'.'dKk; .cooollox;.xXXl ..,cdOKXXX00NXc. 'oKWK' ;k: .l. ,0Nk. cXNx. . ,KWX0NNNXOl'. .o0Ooldk; .:c;.':lxOKKK0xo:,.. ;XX: .,lOXWWXd. . .':,.lKXd. lXNo cXWWWXooNWNXKko;'.. .lk0x; ...,:ldk0KXNNOo:,.. ,OWNOxO0KXXNWNO, ....'l0Xk, .dNK. oNWWNo.cXK;;oOXNNXK0kxdolllllooooddxk00KKKK0kdoc:c0No .'ckXWWWNXkc,;kNKl. .,kXXk, 'KXc .dNWWX;.xNk. .kNO::lodxkOXWN0OkxdlcxNKl,.. oN0'..,:ox0XNWWNNWXo. ,ONO' .o0Xk; .ONo oNWWN0xXWK, .oNKc .ONx. ;X0. .:XNKKNNWWWWNKkl;kNk. .cKXo. .ON0; .xNd cNWWWWWWWWKOkKNXxl:,'...;0Xo'.....'lXK;...',:lxk0KNWWWWNNKOd:.. lXKclON0: .xNk. .dXd ;XWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWNNNNNWWNNNNNNNNNWWNNNNNNWWWWWNXKNNk;.. .dNWWXd. cXO. .xXo .ONWNWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWNNK0ko:'..OXo 'l0NXx, :KK, .OXc :XNk0NWXKNWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWNNNX00NNx:'.. lXKc. 'lONN0l. .oXK: .KX; .dNKoON0;lXNkcld0NXo::cd0NNO:;,,'.. .0Xc lXXo..'l0NNKd,. .c0Nk, :XK. .xNX0NKc.cXXl ;KXl .dN0. .0No .xNXOKNXOo,. .l0Xk;. .dXk. .lKWN0d::OWK; lXXc .OX: .ONx. . .,cdk0XNXOd;. .'''....;c:'..;xKXx, .0No .:dOKNNNWNKOxkXWXo:,,;ONk;,,,,,;c0NXOxxkO0XXNXKOdc,. ..;::,...;lol;..:xKXOl. ,XX: ..';cldxkOO0KKKXXXXXXXXXXKKKKK00Okxdol:;'.. .';::,..':llc,..'lkKXkc. :NX' . '' .................. .,;:;,',;ccc;'..'lkKX0d;. lNK. .; ,lc,. ................ ..,,;;;;;;:::,....,lkKX0d:. .oN0. .'. .;ccc;,'.... ....'',;;;;;;;;;;'.. .;oOXX0d:. .dN0. .;;,.. .... ..''''''''.... .:dOKKko;. lNK' ..,;::;;,'......................... .;d0X0kc'. .xXO' .;oOK0x:. .cKKo. .,:oxkkkxk0K0xc'. .oKKkc,. .';cok0XNNNX0Oxoc,. .;d0XX0kdlc:;,,,',,,;;:clodkO0KK0Okdl:,'.. .,coxO0KXXXXXXXKK0OOxdoc:,.. ...

Jesus sacrificed his life to prove that he was immortal. So where does the part where he gets nailed to a stick and beaten the shit out of fit in?

Pen15

What's black, white, and red all over? An ovulating mulatto woman.

Why was the man sad His son got raped

a duck walks in to a gay bar and asks for a stick they asked where he wanted it before he could answer he was rapped

A pink bird and a pink elephant was out flying. Then something happened.

I have aids

roses are red and violets are blue and i was going to write something that rimes but that is not funny here.

A horse dies and goes to heaven. He wonders why there aren't any atheists around.

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Being held for random.

A burglar broke into a house one night. He picked up a CD player to place in his sack and a strange, disembodied voice echoed from the dark, saying, "Jesus is watching you." He nearly jumped out of his skin, clicked his flashlight off, and froze. When he heard nothing more, he shook his head, clicked the light on, and began searching for more valuables. Just as he pulled the stereo out so he could disconnect the wires, he heard, "Jesus is watching you." Freaked out, he shined his light around frantically, looking for the source of the voice. Finally, in the corner of the room, his flashlight beam came to rest on a parrot. "Did you say that?" he hissed at the parrot "Yep," the parrot confessed, then squawked, "I'm just trying to warn you." The burglar relaxed. "Warn me, huh? Who in the world are you?" "Moses," replied the bird. "Moses?" the burglar laughed. "What kind of people would name a bird Moses?" "Devout Semites," the parrot replied.

A man buy's a new lawn mower, it breaks so he takes it back. The shopworker says that if you don't have a recipt then you cannot replace it, the man goes home and months later catch's a flu.

There were 4 black people in a Cadillac driving off a cliff. The sad thing was it was a nice car.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...