Why can't Abraham Lincoln lie? Because he is dead.

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What is worse than finding a worm in an apple? The Holocaust

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Knock knock Whos there? No one, your wife was just in a fatal car accident and died on the scene, so your kids had to walk home from school instead of being picked up. Your son was captured by a sexual predator, and your daughter tried to run from them, and now she's under the wheels of the bus going round and round.

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Want to hear an urban legend? There's a straight feminist.

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"You know what my motto in life is?" "No" "Oh, that's a shame."

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Why should you paint a canoe black? Being the darkest color, it will hide dirt, scratches, and normal wear and tear on your canoe better than lighter colors.

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SHEA CAPOLUPO HAS A TINY SHLONG. 8- turn your head sideways haha.

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american government

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple Plenty of things

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Why did the fisherman die on a fishing trip? He had a heart attack.

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Have you heard the joke that they don't tell retarded people? You haven't? Well then alright let me tell you because it's actually quite amusing.

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An abortionist secretly fancies himself pro life, with reservations. Overwhelmed, and utterly fed up, with the burden of carrying on the family business, he aborts himself. Although he was only 46, his frail mother was nevertheless proud of his decision to succeed where she had failed 46 years ealier.

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Charlotte Bobcats

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How do you silence a barking dog? You rip out its vocal cords.

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R.I.P. Steve Jobs

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You read the Terms of Service.

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How do you get 100 Jews into a car? ...Nevermind, it wouldn't work.

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Who keeps knocking on the wall? My neighbors have sex a lot.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? 42

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What do you call a women with two black eyes? Someone trapped in the cycle of violence that is domestic abuse. The few friends and family members she still speaks with tell she should leave. They don't know about the last time she threatened to leave him, when he held a gun to her throat and screamed "You try an leave me I'll kill you and your precious god damn babies!" Now she suffers silently for fear of what he might do to her family, but is increasingly worried about the way her husband has begun looking at their 13 year old daughter. Every night she kneels at the foot of her bed and prays for death, over the sounds of her own sobbing and her husbands drunken rage. Also she is a slow learner.

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why did the plane crash? because fenton was driving it..."THE DEER HAD TO DIE"

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Do your parents know you're gay?

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What's worse than stepping on a snail? Stepping on a bear trap.

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Q: Why don't Jewish cannibals like Germans A: Because it gives them gas

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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