Chuck Norris can count from 1 to 100... twice!

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What do you call a dog eating a dead dog? A hungry dog

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What do call a limbless man swimming? Dead.

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Why did the mother tell her son to get a job. She was tired of buying Generic brand food.

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What's brown and sticky? A stick.

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Why did Billy drop his ice cream cone? Because he was hit by a truck.

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Why did the chicken attempt to cross the road? To see if it could.

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Whats brown and sticky? Brown glue

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A Jew and a German walk into a bar.

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Why do animals on the side of the road stink? Well they don't, you just think they do when in reality all it is, is there insides rottening From prevous days of exposen of the air now as far as I know all the little baby squrriel Wanted was it get his nuts in the road and it bring back to his starving family counting on him to bring Food to the tree next thing you know a soccer mom's van ran the poor baby squirrel over. Now me knowing this squirrel myself (don't ask me how) he wanted to go out in style you know get ran over by a mustang or a lambo not some bitch ass mini van with sliding doors and a dvd player convinit for the kids to watch spongebob.... man I bet that squrriel was pissed!

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What did the little boy get for christimas? Nothing because he's a selfish asshole.

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Why was the asian boy made fun of in the locker room? Because of the nipple piercing he had.

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BBC have a new porn channel. C Boobies...

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Oh wow, I've never seen one that big before. Thats what the 12 year old boy said as he starred at the the Great Pyramid of Pharaoh Khufu.

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An Irishman, an Englishman and a Scott land on an island. They were on vacation and returned to the UK, which consists of two isles.

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How do you make a basketball team short You cut off their legs

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What is scary? Obama might get reelected.

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What do a blond and a jar of marmalade have in common? Nothing, they are completely different.

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Biggest lie ever; "I have read and agree to the terms of service".

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Where did Susie go in the bombing? Nowhere. Susie is the bomber.

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Why did the chicken help people across the road all day? Because after past experiences the chicken decided to become a lollypop chicken and help people not make the mistakes he did

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Your momma's so dumb, she had to spend an extra hour studying for her mathematics test.

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What did the farmer say to the survivor of the plane crash that just crashed on his land? "Need a band-aid?"

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What do you get when you cross a dog and a cat? A hybrid animal that can never exist to do each species own genetic make-up which would subsequently reject the other's. I.E. The cat would reject the dog sperm from ever fertilizing and the dog would reject cat sperm.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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