Do you like impressions? Why? That's Socrates

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How do you get four gay guys to sit on a stool? Ask them kindly to do so. Their sexual orientation is of little to no importance in this situation.

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Q. If Kim Kardashian and Kanye West were both drowning, what kind would you make? A. PBJ

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hardy har har.. i should be working on a school project right now!!

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three men get stranded on a island and cannibals find them and they say go find 3 fruits and come back. first guy comes back with three apples and they say we will shuve them in your rectum and if you scream we will kill you he screams he dies. second guy comes back with grapes and he laughs before they can start. and in heaven the first guy says why did you laugh and he says there voices are funny.

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A plane is going to land at 3:30, if the monkey is holding a gun how does the bus driver commite suicide 12, because the laywer attacked the dyslexic man.

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3 men walk into a bar. they all take a cab home to keep from having an accident due to their intoxication.

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Why didn't Suzie ride her bike? Suzie's mother aborded her. She was never born.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Well, it was kind of by chance that it crossed the road and what is the big deal lots of animals cross the road. For example possums, squirrels, deer, raccoons, cats, dogs, rabbits do pretty often too it's weird because sometimes more rabbits cross the road on Easter I don't know if that's just me though, chipmunks, bears, over in Africa probably tigers and lions cross those roads.

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Yo momma so lazy she hasn't been to work in weeks and you no longer have electricity or food.

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Why did the racist guy die? Because the black guy stabbed him with a fork.

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Roses are red, Violets are red, Shit I'm bleeding.

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What's black and blue and hates anal? The twelve year old in my trunk

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Why am I righting in english? Because this is an english site.

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Why did John stay home from school? He died.

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Two drums and a cymbol fall off a cliff... ba bum BUM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA it used to be ba dum ching but im so funny that i changed it to ba dum bum. credit to Alex H

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Three bars walk into a Jew.

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Why are there no aspirin factories in the Amazon Rainforest? Because it would be unprofitable to build a factory that requires a large workforce in an uninhabited area.

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matt f stupid because no one likes him

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What do you get when a fat kid eats a donut? A Heart Attack.

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What's the difference between a whale and an elephant

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What happens when you throw a green stone into the red sea? It gets wet.

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A doctor is delivering a baby on April fool's day. He says, "Congradulations, it's a boy." He then says,"April fools! Your child was stillborn."

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Guess what I saw today? Everything I looked at.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops