every 60 seconds in africa a minute passes

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if you dont like sponge bob refrences.......... THEN **DOLPHIN NOISE*** you

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Violets are Blue, Roses are Red, skip the bull$%!#, and give me head

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Did y'all see Lafell catch that pass? Neither did I

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A ginger a blond and a burnett where walking in the dessert... They died of heat exhaustion.

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whats better than 69? doing it with jarads mum!!

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Man: I'm just popping out to get cigarettes (He never returns.)

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A horse walked into a bar. The bartender asked, "Why the long face?" The horse did not reply because he was incapable of speech.

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Q: Why didn't the mexican get into the bathtub? A: He was already clean

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How do you make a Jew cry? You kill all of their friends and family members.

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A woman walks into a cave, and the entrance collapses. She spends two days in the cave. She comes close to death, due to lack of nutrition, but is thankfully rescued by a dog walker. She spends several days in hospital recovering. The experience really opens her eyes to life, and she learns not to take her loved ones for granted, and to really make the most of her life. Finally she is allowed to go home. The next day, she is hit by a bus.

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Why did the little girl die Because she was kidnapped by a rapist, and defiled repeatedly, and then to get a ransom from her family the kidnapper slowly pulled out her fingernails and toenails, and sent them to the family the same thing happened with her fingers, toes, hands, feet, arms, legs, teeth, tounge, hair, and eyes, then she died of blood loss after nearly 2 months of torture.

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A young boy walks into a bar and asks for directions or a map. The bartender takes him into a backroom and gives him a map he just happened to have. The boy continues on his way and the bartender is happy that he did a good deed.

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Whats worse than a baby crying on a plane. 9/11

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Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? He was shot. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? He was mentally disturbed. Why did the fourth monkey fall out of the tree? Peer Pressure

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A man walks into a bar. After several hours of drinking and loud unintellegable outbursts to those around him, the man wonders off to a nearby bus stop and relieves himself. He is now a registered sex offender.

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What did America get on the 11th September? 9/11

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Knock Knock Whos There Policeman Policeman who Please open then door your fathers been in a terrible car accident

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Did you hear about Helen Keller's dog? Neither did she.

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Why did th chicken cross the road? To get to your house. Knock knock! Who's there? The chicken

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Joseph had been temporarily blinded for over a year. While blind, he saw the doctor who told him he would regain sight the next morning when he woke up. For this special moment, Joseph decided that the first thing he wanted to see was his wife. So, his wife decided to stay up all night so she was in the right position for when Joseph woke up. However, when Joseph woke up and opened his eyes his wife wasn't there so he was a little bit annoyed.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Bob

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall? It depends on how hard you throw them!!!

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A man walk into a bar. He then falls down, quickly picks himself up, and continues his life.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops